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Taco Bell To Get Upscale Makeover, Horrible New Name

But will it still serve fourth meal?

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Taco Bell, we hardly knew ye. The chain famous for turning a Dorito into a taco and other highly regarded achievements (pun intended) is getting the Pygmalion treatment and launching a new chain named US Taco Co. and Urban Taproom. I guess “Taco Bellionaire” was too on the nose.

Slate reports that after conducting a study of their customers’ demographic Taco Bell decided to target clientele with more disposable income and less of a preexisting interest in fast food. Rather than try to change more discerning (read: wealthier) consumers’ minds about waffle tacos or Lava Sauce, Taco Bell CEO Greg Creed told Restaurant News the company decided to launch an upscale new chain in an attempt to attract customers who are “edgy in how they live their lives but not necessarily in how they eat.”

That quote could imply that eating at a upper-class Bell chain will have less digestive repercussions than dining at a regular Taco Bell, but come on– a Gordita Supreme in a trillion dollar suit is still just a Gordita Supreme.

Believe it or not, “a trillion dollars” is only slightly hyperbolic. One of Urban Taproom’s menu items will be shamelessly named the “One Percenter” and come with fresh lobster and garlic butter. They’ll also offer the “Winner Winner,” a chicken breast topped with gravy.

The first Bougie Bell will reportedly open in Huntington Beach, so be warned, good people of California: like Eliza Doolittle at the fairground races, you can take the Taco out of the Bell but you can’t take the Bell out of the Taco. Inside that fancy shell there will still be nothing but mystery meat, and the only girl you should be wining and dining at Taco Co.  is Mary Jane.

(via Slate, image via Antonio Morales Garcia)

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