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What's with the name?

Allow us to explain.

And I'll Form the Head!

Remember When Michael Bay Said Transformers 3 Would be Better? Yeah, About That…

Listen, we weren’t expecting Transformers 3 to be… good, exactly. It’s just that Transformers 2 was a ludicrously expensive flop that was roundly panned, called “…a horrible experience of unbearable length,” and was acknowledged as having “a shot at the title Worst Movie of the Decade.” I mean, a Michael Bay movie has to be really, really bad, when Michael Bay himself apologizes for having made it.

So I guess you could say that we were expecting Transformers 3 to be better than Transformers 2 for purely statistical reasons. Lightning doesn’t strike twice, and all that, and we were hoping to at least get a little enjoyment out of some promos and Shia LeBeouf saying “no” many times. But lets just pretend that never happened, because despite Michael Bay’s statements to the contrary, it looks like the cars representing the vehicle modes for Mudflap and Skids arrived on the set of Transformers 3 this week.

Mudflap and Skids were the most easily described example of the poorly thought out decisions that resulted in Transformers 2, with words like “minstrelsy,” and phrases like “To say that these two are the most astonishingly racist caricatures that I’ve ever seen in a mainstream motion picture would be an understatement.” The Transformers Wiki notes that the decision to have them speak in exaggerated Ebonics was made by their voice actors, whose intention was to have them come off as posers. Needless to say, this was not how audiences took it.

The movie’s screenwriters attempted to distance themselves from their own characters as best they could “It’s really hard for us to sit here and try to justify it. I think that would be very foolish, and if someone wants to be offended by it, it’s their right. We were very surprised when we saw it, too, and it’s a choice that was made. If anything, it just shows you that we don’t control every aspect of the movie.” Bay’s reaction was that “We’re just putting more personality in.”

It’s hard to imagine a way that Bay would include Mudflap and Skids in the movie in a way that would improve upon their original appearance. So basically now the only question is, now that this is what we know about Transformers: Dark of the Moon, in what ways will it manage to surprise us with its fail?

(via Topless Robot. All quotes from Wikipedia.)

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  • Nicole Hazen

    “…it looks like the cars representing the vehicle modes for Mudflap and Skids arrived on the set of Transformers 2 this week.”

    I think you meant Transformers 3 there.

  • Anonymous

    Whoops, thanks. Surprised that’s the only place I slipped up, I was just trying not to have to type “Dark of the Moon.”

  • Nicole Hazen

    Hey, you guys do a hell of a lot better at writing than I ever could so kudos to the great job ya’ll do daily.

  • Anonymous

  • Anonymous

     I think I have sent more TheMarySue links out this week then everything else for the whole month.  Keep up the good work!

  • Sean

    Maybe they’ll get blown up? Hopefully early on?

  • Sean Campbell

    Please please please please please let the first 5 minutes of the film being them getting annihilated. 

  • Ema

     Gah.. those characters are the Jar-Jar Binks of Transformers. I don’t even want to gaze upon the 3rd movie..

  • Anonymous

    Transformers 2 was one of those few movies I wish I could un-watch … I just keep crossing my fingers that at some point we’ll get a gritty adult anime version of Transformers to help wipe it from my mind :-/

    (when I was 9 I had a crush on Hot Rod – is that weird?)

  • Patrickmcintosh44

     Thats bs that they can call that racist,,, when theres stupid stoner white kid parts played in movies, worker mexicans that can barely speak english too…need i go on…I dont see why when it involved black people it has to be so offensive. get over it

  • Melly Mel

    Hey douchebag, your privilege is showing.

  • jen

     I, for one, am looking very forward to this and any other Michael Bay atrocity.  Why, you ask?  Rifftrax!

  • Mrfizzer

     when the 12% black population tells you what to do you have to do it right??? If I started a WHITE ENTERTAINMENT CHANNEL there would be no problem, right??? we are being overridden by the russians and the chinese and if we had a BET, why cannot I introduce with the proper financing a channel called WET(white entertainment channel)?  because we have a black president???? NO!!! It is this thing called “EQUAL OPPORTUNITY!”  IN  EVERY MOVIE FROM HOLLYWOOD THERE IS THE BLACK MAN OR WOMAN… I am done wit dis chit…I be a whites man an be a havin no job and chit an I be a callin da NAACP and da YMCA an da ALSCIU an all da chit be shut down…SURE I AM RACIST WHEN I SEE BLACKS CAN HAVE THERE OWN CHANNEL AND A WHITE MAN CANNOT EVER HAVE A CHANNEL WITHOUT BLACKS!!! THAT MAKES ME RACIST!!!
    I especially like the commercial where the black man cannot even pronounce the name of the product…he calls it fo motor oil… and he says the symptoms are deaf,,, but since we have a black prez-e-dent we must be doin his chit, right???
    Pleeze feel free to send dis chit to da black rev rand and chit an be a lettin dem no dat eyes be an able to be a contacted at 1-800-now-hite

  • Anonymous

     You know what this comment needs?

    More question marks.

  • Anonymous

    Great.  What a way to make the transformers voice actors take the fall.  As if it’s even plausible that they’d be allowed to make that decision without a green light from the director