When your girlfriend goes out of town and tells you “don’t forget to feed our cat.” pic.twitter.com/cJk1VRVzUQ
— Chase Stout (@ChaserStout) September 26, 2016
Kittens.
Since I’m being told I need to write more in order for this to be a full post, I’m going to expound upon just why the above tweet depicting a tiny floof (aka kitten) eating tiny pancakes is so cute it makes my eyes melt.
Reason the First: Look at the smol-ness of the kitten. The syrup bottle in the last photo might provide some scale, though it’s not hard to see that this is a tiny as hell kitten. I daresay it’d fit into the palm of some people’s hands (maybe not Trump’s though, ooh look at me being topical). And, as expressed in Bob Newton (Isaac Newton’s lesser-known brother)’s fifth law of thermodynamicuteness, smallness is directly related to cuteness. This brings me to my next point.
Reason the Second: Look at the size of the pancakes. If it is a given that smallness is directly related to cuteness, then here we observe a by-law of that law, which states that the smaller version of something is often cuter than the larger thing it is imitating. Thus, the small, tiny pancakes to go with the smol, tiny kitten make for an altogether eye-meltingly cute photo.
It should be noted that the two subjects need not be similarly shrunken or expanded. Observe:
Here, you will notice that this is a different kitty eating pancakes. Its adorableness factor weighs similarly to the above photo, benefits of GIF animation aside. Why? Because it’s a small cat eating an obscenely large (relatively speaking) stack of pancakes. Even though there is a difference in size (unlike the smol kitten above), the size of kitten to pancake remains proportional, and thus safely within the bounds of the fifth law of thermodynamicuteness.
But wait, I’m not done!
There’s more to this tweet than just that photo, you see. I’d like to direct your attention to the first photo, the one of the text message exchange.
If you look closely, there is another kitten photo in that exchange, though you may be forgiven for missing it. Above the question asking, “Do you know if Wilson likes chocolate chips in his pancakes” (answer: no, cause chocolate is a no-no, pal), you’ll notice a blurry photo. If you squint your eyes just a tad, you’ll realize that this is a super-close up photo of Wilson the kitten. That dark spot is one of the lil bb’s eyes. I imagine the photo was snapped as he inquisitively came close to the phone during a photo to sniff at it, curious about what this human might be doing.
Bob Newton’s third law of thermodynamicuteness states that baby animals doing curious things is always cute. Just like how energy can not be created nor destroyed, so, too, is it impossible for the cuteness of any given baby animal to not be seen. It demands your attention, just as this universe seems to demand the existence and growth of entropy.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going back to wondering why my college professorship was denied. Thank you.
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