Microsoft’s New Emotion Analyzing Software Identifies All of Our Feels to Hilarious Effect

But did Luke's fear lead to anger? Where's that software?

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Microsoft’s new emotion detection software, Project Oxford, is significantly better than other facial recognition software we’ve seen. Here, it identifies Luke’s (failing) efforts to conceal his sadness with neutrality and only betray the anger, contempt, and disgust that he’d rather project. Now we that we can quantify it, his failure is complete.

While we have no way of knowing whether Luke’s fear led to his anger, maybe we can use the software to answer some other nerd questions. Let’s try this one: how sorry is the Doctor, really?

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More “sooooo sorry” than “so sorry,” it appears.

Just how much does Lesley Knope hate Greg Pikitis?

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She doesn’t! Note the relatively low contempt and disgust scores. Lesley Knope couldn’t hate a citizen of Pawnee if she tried, and while she gets angry at Pikitis, she, like all heroes, has a secret soft spot for her nemesis. … Unless someone’s messing with the results. PIKITIS!

Is Neil deGrasse Tyson using sarcasm to hide his fear of your badassery?

Screen Shot 2015-11-11 at 2.41.32 PM

If he is, he’s doing a great job.

Is Nic Cage an actual human being with identifiable emotions?

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As far as humanity’s most advanced technology can tell. And just for good measure:

Screen Shot 2015-11-11 at 2.43.10 PM

Exactly what emotion does “badger face” express?

Screen Shot 2015-11-11 at 3.35.32 PM

So many.

Or how about, “Just how wooden and unreadable is Keanu?”

Screen Shot 2015-11-11 at 3.25.12 PM

As expected, those numbers are all over the place. He has officially stumped the software. Disclaimer: I actually love Keanu. Come at me.

And let’s not forget:

Screen Shot 2015-11-11 at 3.45.31 PM

Have other ideas for what the emotion soothsayer can teach us? Want to analyze the fear and anger of every Star Wars character to see who’d make the best Jedi? Show us in the comments!

(via The Next Web)

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Dan Van Winkle (he) is an editor and manager who has been working in digital media since 2013, first at now-defunct <em>Geekosystem</em> (RIP), and then at <em>The Mary Sue</em> starting in 2014, specializing in gaming, science, and technology. Outside of his professional experience, he has been active in video game modding and development as a hobby for many years. He lives in North Carolina with Lisa Brown (his wife) and Liz Lemon (their dog), both of whom are the best, and you will regret challenging him at <em>Smash Bros.</em>