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Michael Bay Probably Should Never Give Anyone the “Sex Talk” and Here’s Why [Video]

It'll be just like Underworld but with more gratuitous car-washing scenes.

“Honey, little Michael Jr is turning thirteen this year. It seems like he’s starting to notice the girls in his class a lot more these days. Don’t you think he needs to hear about the… you know, the ‘birds and the bees’ soon?” Michael Bay’s wife will one day say to him.

“Honey… birds… bees…THAT’S IT! Someone get Roberto Orci on the phone, stat!” He’ll reply, jumping up from his waterbed sofa because I just bet he has, like, three of those.

“Michael, no, please don’t make this into a billion dollar explosion-filled blockbuster franchise that has nothing to do with the actual topic at hand,” she’ll plead.

“Too late, I’ve already decided I’m gonna cast Megan Fox as the bee’s hot sidekick!” he’ll shout over his shoulder as he catapults himself through the breakaway window they’ve had installed in their living room for special occasions.

His wife will sigh and rub her temples.

“Damn it, this is just like when the transformer in my laptop charger shorted out.”

(Mashed via Geekosystem Tips)

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