If you read my gif review of it, you’ll know I loved Transformers: Age of Extinction, at least the part where it ended. So how excited was I to learn that Ehren Kruger, the writer of all the Transformers sequels, will be co-producing a live-action Dumbo movie for Disney? Pretty damned excited! This is the guy who wrote the line “It’s picking up metal and dropping it!” He exudes quality at all hours of the day.
Kruger will produce with Justin Springer, co-producer of Oblivion and TRON: Legacy, two movies that no one has anything bad to say about, ever. And while Kruger’s mostly a writer—in addition to the Transformers movies he’s turned out Scream 3, Terry Gilliam’s überflop The Brothers Grimm, and The Ring—he also produced the eminently forgettable Daniel Craig/Rachel Weisz horror movie Dream House.
Dumbo has no writer or director attached yet, though The Hollywood Reporter notes that Disney will have to beef up the story, as the original film clocked in at a mere 64 minutes. They explain: “The new take involves the adaptation of the original movie while adding a unique family story that parallels Dumbo’s story.”
With Kruger on board, what might we be able to expect from this sure to be Oscar-caliber film?
- Dumbo will be constantly draped in an American flag.
- Dumbo’s mother gets exploded when she lightly knocks into a fire hydrant.
- Remember those racist crows from the original movie? If anyone’s gonna enable a comeback, it’s the guy who wrote racist robots.
The mind boggles.
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