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What's with the name?

Allow us to explain.

Consider the Following

Kristen Stewart is Youngest and Highest Paid Actress on Forbes’ List of Highest Grossing Actresses


Forbes has put out their annual list of the highest-paid actors and actresses in Hollywood, and not only does Kristen Stewart top the list by half a million dollars, she’s also the youngest actress on it by sixteen years.

Which should come as no surprise to anyone who remembers the absolutely astronomical amounts of money the Twilight series has made. I haven’t read the Twilight books, because nobody has managed to say anything to me that makes me want to read them (this is a situation I’m also in with Lost and Game of Thrones, before you start telling me how I’ve made a good decision), but I have watched a couple of the movies recently. And what they left me with, after boring me to tears despite the comedy stylings of Rifftrax laid over them, was grudging respect. Yes, respect.

Because the Twilight movies are like Honey Badger. They don’t give a shit. You aren’t prepared to accept Bella and Edward as destined lovers at first sight, and the idea that every relationship decision they make is perfect and unquestionable? You aren’t prepared to be delighted by a lingering shot of them staring into each other’s faces happily? Well, too bad. The movie will make no attempts to convince you and continue on its merry way of creating hours and hours of fan service for people who are in love with the novels. The fact is, the Twilight movies are for Twilight fans, and nobody else.

I might not like it, but I can respect that. So yeah, when Kristen Stewart is the highest-paid actress in Hollywood, that’s super interesting. That’s an actress who has built a fortune on starring in a story with a female lead aimed 100% at women and fans rather than a wide audience. In a perfect situation, it’d be a story that didn’t have gender themes that I find to be shockingly regressive, but we can’t have everything.

In that spirit, I should also mention that there’s a first full trailer for the final installment of the Twilight movie series. So Twi-hards, get excited: it’s almost here. Those on the opposite side of the argument, get excited: it’s almost over.

It was released today in honor of Edward Cullen’s canonical eleventy-first birthday. Edward, I think it’s time Gandalf had a talk with you about that ring.

(via Forbes and Deadline.)

(PS. Actually it would be more accurate to say that I’m perfectly willing to read A Song of Ice and Fire, except it falls under my rule of reading fantasy series: If it’s longer than three books, I can wait until the author is done to read them all.)

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=501983222 Matt Graham

    One of my favorite actresses, she earns it.

  • Anonymous

    Who?

  • J Funderburg

    “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore”

  • Adam R. Charpentier

    I love that the first frame frozen on this trailer all over the web is Kristen Stewart making Ron Perlman’s Quest For Fire face.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_IGRK4BKTKC5RGO56RXTUEVFJSM ainok

    Someone on Reddit did a really really nice interpretive write-up of the Twilight saga as a horror-tragedy story, and it’s both convincing and compelling.

    http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/mzm9d/up_vs_twilight/c354zbz

  • Anonymous

    Agreed.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_R7GVNIKWG3S2UTHEQOMSZXT4M4 Anna B

    Good for her.  I may not agree with what those books are all about nor would I list any of the Twilight movies as a Must Watch, but I won’t hate an actress for that–especially if she makes a lot of money out of it and gets on a Forbes list.  I do respect Kristen Stewart and how easily she appears unbothered by the shit thrown at her by people who are angry at her for playing a character in a book. 

    And honestly… I don’t think that book is as harmful as so many people are making them out to be, because really, who dates vampires? Who can, even if they wanted to?

  • Julianne McCartney

    Kristen Stewart aint a bad actress, I just hope she looks for more compelling movies. She was pretty good as Joan Jett

  • Julianne McCartney

    Dat jaw line

  • Anonymous

    I have a love-hate relationship with Kristen Stewart. I will literally see any movie she is in. I will rent them if they don’t end up in my local theaters. I always leave slightly disappointed. But does that stop me? 
    I somehow have mad respect for the woman. She is worth a lot of money (granted, because she got lucky. The first Twilight movie was not expected to be what it was.) Her indie flicks are much, much better than her big box office movies. 
    The best part is- she doesn’t give a shit. She does what she wants, wear what she wants, shows up on the red-carpet with dirty hair and she has really great legs. She also had the balls to say, “Nope- I want more money.” which is something I’m sure I’d never be able to do no matter how much my franchise was worth. I’m jealous, 100%.

  • Anonymous

    I agree. At least these kids are reading. Maybe they’ll keep reading bad teen-fic, or maybe they’ll find something better. What matter is…they’re reading.

  • Kath

    Exactly. She was absolutely mind-blowingly awesome in The Runaways (where she played Joan Jett), and anyone who says she’s bad clearly hasn’t seen it.

    She’s a young woman who’s been (unfortunately) typecast as an expressionless robot who can’t act, not the truth – i.e. she’s a young woman who can act but has had the majority of her fame come from a handful of terrible movies.

    And why is Twilight bad? Its messages, its themes and any real ‘problems’ with Bella should have been picked up by the director and/or choreographer – if they didn’t then, well, maybe they’re the bad ones, not Kristen.

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, I only watched her indie movies so I know she’s a good actor. I think she’s making really smart career moves. Sure, the big franchises suck but they make a lot of money and that ensures she’ll get a job. I like her a lot, and it will be interesting to see how she develops. She’s unique in that she’s not girly like CW actors. I bet that’s part of her appeal. She doesn’t come off as fake or trying too hard. She’s cool and honest.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=501983222 Matt Graham

     She’s amazing in Welcome to the Riley’s, The Runaways, The Cake Eaters, The Yellow Handkerchief, Adventureland, On the Road, Snow White, I liked her, I liked all three of them and the whole concept, but the script seemed light on Snow and Huntsmen development. Ironically. I found the movie to be awesome, though, hoping there’s a director’s cut.

    I like Kristen, and I think she’s a great actress (love method actors) for the roles she cares about and tries for. Everyone on Twilight has acknowledged at this point it’s a paycheck and a springboard to do other projects. Good for all of them: Robert Pattinson, Anna Kendrick, Ashley Greene, even Taylor Lautner. I don’t think Kristen has the range of, say, Alison Brie, who balances Mad Men’s femme fatale with Community’s nerdy awkward comic relief, but not everyone needs range. You do the role, that’s the job.

    My wife laid it out for me (she and my friends give me good natured crap for liking Kristen and Anna Kendrick) that Kristen’s expressions and half-lidded look make her unapproachable, and her casual approach on the red carpet and PR events sort of shatters the Hollywood glamour people put in their heads. In my careers and hobbies, I’ve worked with musicians, actors, athletes, comic artists, and while I respect them and get star struck, you have to remember- they are people. I know I’d hate being asked to pose and preen at photocalls, let alone getting jumped at the airport.

    I’m also reminded of the Leonardo Dicaprio hate, circa Titanic, as far as Kristen, Robert, and Twilight go. Titanic hit my senior year, all the girls swooned over the guy, all the guys seemed to dislike him. I know many who still do. Insecurity? I don’t know, Titanic wasn’t a movie that interested me, but I’d seen him in other films before and since and think he’s fantastic. And yet he still gets flak for being in Titanic from time to time, at least among people I traffic with.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=501983222 Matt Graham

     The Runaways was fantastic, one of my favorite bands. Joan Jett is an idol to me, she inspired me to pick up guitar as a kid. Kristen nailed the role. So did Dakota and the girl who played Lita (name escapes me, but just knowing the Lita Ford drama and having met her, that girl rocked the role).

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=501983222 Matt Graham

     Oh! I watched the first two Twilight films on Netflix just to see what it was my sisters and some friends were all enamored with, and in timing with checking out the third in theaters.

    While the first movie is pretty bad, I blame it on budget and production input, given the director was the same director from Lords of Dogtown (which is awesome). I felt like the pieces were there, but it just…lacked. There was a noticeable improvement between Twilight and New Moon. Not saying they’re must see, Oscar caliber events, but I was entertained.

    Also interesting to note Kristen took the job to work with the director, and thought it would be a little cult film, not the marketing juggernaut that took the world by the throat.

  • http://twitter.com/FroWillis Sarah

    Eeehhhh, I’d beg to disagree on how dangerous they can be. There seems to be a correlation among some of my friends with reading Twilight and have bad relationship judgment. It definitely normalizes bad relationships.

    It’s not about the vampires, it’s about the super controlling boyfriend. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_R7GVNIKWG3S2UTHEQOMSZXT4M4 Anna B

    Believe me… people make bad relationship decisions whether they read Twilight or not. Screwing up one’s personal life is the easiest thing in the world without the help of bad teen fic.

  • http://twitter.com/FroWillis Sarah

    Very true. I just hate seeing books aimed at people developing relationship skills that perpetuate bad ideals. 

  • Adam R. Charpentier

    Hah, yes!