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And Now For Something Completely Different

CBS Is, Ahem, Cracking Down on Inappropriate Attire at the Grammys

“CBS Program Practices advises that all talent appearing on camera please adhere to Network policy concerning wardrobe.

Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could  possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure.“  — From an e-mail CBS sent out detailing proper attire at the Grammys.

CBS, tell me this: If “female breasts” are unacceptable, how about side or undermoob? Translucent shirts revealing male nipplage? Inquiring minds want to know.

(via: Deadline)

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  • Anonymous

    What more do they want? Nicki Minaj was getting her Downton on just last year!

  • sharmylae

    first: the image for this post is perfection. second: shouldn’t a formal occassion require ALL breasts to be covered, regardless of who’s sporting them? geez, try to at least pretend you’re not being sexist, you guys.

  • Feaky Snucker

    ‘Female Breast Nipples.’ As opposed to the other kinds of nipples women have? o.O It’s sad that in 2013 people are still hysterically scared of the female body.

  • Pamela

    Fetch my fainting couch, I have just seen exposed side boob! Oh the melodrama!

  • Rebecca Pahle

    Agreed. There probably aren’t any dudes who were planning to show up shirtless (but then, you never know with the Grammys…) so why not just say “no exposed upper bodies” and leave it at that?

  • Rebecca Pahle

    Well some ladies have nipples on their… no, I’ve got nothing.

  • Kimberley

    As opposed to male breast nipples, which are less scary apparently.

  • Janna A. Kepley

    Funny enough, as I was reading I too wondered what would happen if males wore outfits “hinting” at nipples and otherwise male breast curvatures.

  • Anonymous

    Some women have nipples in other places. Just as some men have extra, underdeveloped nubbins. However, I expect CBS will soon realise the oversight and ask women to cover any filthy, horrible supernumerary nipples they have as well.

  • Chanel Diaz

    So much ‘emphasis’ on covering women’s chest. Couldn’t make it seem sorta “equal” by saying ‘all’ chests need to be properly opaque and fully covered, with even saying at the end, “make sure those “female breast nipples” are completely ‘unseeable,’ ladies, ’cause it’s Federal law.”

    Ain’t society so fair-minded?

    Do they seriously not want to see ANY amount of ‘female breasts tissue or something, while males are implied to be able to be SHIRTLESS?’ It almost sounds like women are “urged” pretty much to wear a semi-burka, at this rate. What is this, Muslim County?

  • Anonymous

    I’m not sure if I should feel uncomfortable or laugh. Maybe both.

  • Anonymous

    CBS releases a new statement, all attendees are to swap attire with other attending “talent” of the opposite gender. Should any find this objectionable, CBS has kindly prepared new age designer outfits. In other news CBS has begun collecting paper bags for repurposing to improve its environmental efforts.

  • Kev Tomes

    *monocle & Teacup* “And cover up those table legs, mother, they’re inflaming my sexual ardour.”

  • MikeBrendan

    I doubt the Grammys have a dress code for men. It’s a mass of cluelessness and idiocy — they gave a Best Metal award to Jethro Tull, and gave another award to an album that didn’t exist.

  • Ding Dong

    If I was a male with an invitation to this I’d head over to my wardrobe dude and have him come up with an outfit that covered exactly what was demanded here, and not a square inch more. So I’d be heading there in a pair of speedos as far as I can tell – genitals and buttocks, check!

  • Marie

    I can’t take this seriously because I keep laughing at the phrase “bare fleshy under curves.”