I don’t even know how to come at this. Basically, what you’re seeing here is a cheeseball man comprised of 3 balls of Velveeta cheese and covered in Philadelphia cream cheese. How does that make you feel? That feeling comes courtesy of the Charles Phoenix Test Kitchen, where this abomination was built, melted, and then eaten with chips. The idea is to use him as a dip, which works, I guess, if you’re into dip that is made out of cheese and cheese with like 6 pieces of vegetables in it. And also if you’re into torture. Of course, this top hat isn’t magical, otherwise he’d be screaming in agony and demanding that you adopt a healthier diet.