Ever since the government first shut down, all of the White House groundskeepers have been forbidden from tending to the White House lawn or to Michelle Obama’s famous Kitchen Garden. In their absence, a fox has taken up residence at the White House, and nobody can catch him because legally they’re not allowed.
As Eddie Gehman Kohan, writer of the non-government-affilated White House food policy blog Obama Foodarama, notes in a post first published on Friday, the fox was first spotted not even a week after the furlough began:
And about that fox that’s now living in the seat of American power: Thanks to the shutdown, groundskeepers have given up on their efforts to catch the elusive creature, who showed up to live inside the White House gates more than two weeks ago. It has been spotted many times at dawn and dusk, according to the White House source.
Squirrels, birds, and other wildlife are also having a field day eating all the unharvested crops, which are just sitting there rotting because nobody is able to go in and gather them up. Man, that is some Grapes of Wrath level nonsense right there. Can’t we have some kind of vigilante superhero swoop in there, pick all the crops, give ’em to starving WIC receivers, and then chase the fox back to Virginia somewhere?
At the very least there’s got to be one ridiculously frustrated government worker who’s just ready to go Caddyshack all over this fox. We would advise that guy not to do anything too rash, but come on. You would you all totally watch the heck out of that if it were a real movie. Foxes are way cuter than gophers, anyway.
- Now we’ll never know what the fox says
- Well, okay, we kind of already do
- One of them sent us all a text and everything