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Florida Senate Bans Sex… But Only From a Purely Technical Taxonomic Viewpoint
by Susana Polo | 10:33 am, May 12th, 2011
The Florida State Senate recently passed a law making bestiality illegal, at least by October 1st of this year. At least, the law is one “prohibiting knowing sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal; prohibiting specified related activities; providing penalties; providing that the act does not apply to certain husbandry, conformation judging, and veterinary practices” (which means we assume you can still go through the motions necessary to create vital ingredients for veterinary artificial insemination, as in the case of endangered species and livestock).
However, anyone familiar with the taxonomic definition of the word “animal” will realize that humans are included, which means that in a strictly taxonomic sense, Floridians better get all the hanky-panky out of their systems by the end of September, because after that humans having sex with other humans will be illegal. Fortunately, in a strictly legal sense, the sense that matters… the law isn’t that horrifically stupid.
Yes, Florida’s anti-bestiality law doesn’t actually prohibit consensual sex between two human beings. From one blog:
The problem with this interpretation is that the statute itself explicitly distinguishes between “persons” and “animals,” prohibiting sex acts between the two groups. A court facing a question of interpreting the statute would almost certainly read the statute’s use of the term “animals” as “non-human animals,” both to avoid absurdity and to conform with (1) the intent of the drafters; (2) the purpose of the statute; and (3) a commonly used (if scientifically inaccurate) understanding of the term ‘animal” to exclude humans.
But be honest. Florida is one of our nation’s capitols of weird news. You totally thought this could be true for a second.
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