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What Boys Think of Girls

Facebook Message Targets Girls Without Prom Dates — And Worse


Today in “How Do We Keep Our Children Off of Facebook Forever”: A message sent on Facebook to students in Ipswich, Massachusetts that listed female students without prom dates was followed by another message outlining the sexual experience of junior girls at the same school. This, naturally, upset many people besides the girls who were named, and police are investigating to see who wrote the original message. Sad possibility: this could have been written by boys or girls.

Facebook has to be one of the absolute worst things to happen to teenage bullying. Bullying was bad enough before the Internet. Now it just makes it easier — more anonymous, more distant, much quicker, and much more visible. And the fact that thoughtless teenagers with raging hormones and insecurity now have this kind of outlet makes bullying of years past seem downright tame. Because once you left school, you were safe. But now kids will go home and go on Facebook on their own computers and find something like this:

According to reports, the email said: ‘It’s always smart to know how much experience a girl has before asking her to go with you.’

It used terms such as ‘hot’ and ‘sassy’ to describe the girls and even included their hobbies, such as horse riding.

It also gave a rating system for the sexual history of each girl, with one asterix for ‘never been kissed, two for ‘had a couple of good relationships’ and three for ‘yoga pants … belly ring, low-cut shirts every day.’

Shudder. Yes, teenage boys can be nasty, perverted, gross … use your imagination when it comes to teenage boys and sex. And that kind of taunting and bullying is awful enough. But girls using the same weapons as those boys is even scarier. At that age, didn’t you feel like other girls were, on some level, your allies? It might seem unrealistic and Pollyanna-ish, but weren’t they people you could turn to when a boy is saying things like this? There’s a sense of betrayal when girls bully other girls. And that’s terrifying, to think there might be no one to turn to. And no way to escape it.

(Daily Mail)

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  • CandyAppleCat

    Actually, all the worst bullying I got in school always came from other girls. There was one instance in high school where I overheard a boy saying that I had great boobs, but was too fat to be attractive, but that was nothing compared to the girls from jr. high school that made my life such hell that I wrote the first and only suicide note of my life. Not to defend the boys or anything. It’s just been my experience that girls can be horribly vicious to other girls so this doesn’t surprise me one bit if this kind of thing came from a group of girls.

    And things like this just add to the long list of reasons why deleting my Facbook account was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made! Don’t regret it one bit.

  • http://twitter.com/NuttyLizard Gina

    Wow. I don’t remember there being any bullying in High School, but the girls at my middle school were MEAN. Thank God there was only instant messenger in those days and I could avoid them then. Actually, now that I think about it, there was that one time freshman year I got called a very nasty thing, but my friends on the soccer team made the guy apologize and I never got picked on again.
    I don’t know what I’m going to do if I ever have children who have to face this kind of sh!t. Hopefully by that point Facebook and school systems will have figured out how to deal with this at least a little bit. If not, I guess I’ll urge them to join the soccer team.

  • Coriana

    At that age, didn’t you feel like other girls were, on some level, your allies?

    No.

    weren’t they people you could turn to when a boy is saying things like this?

    …and no.

    My experience, from grade school all the way up through high school, was that girls were invariably more cruel, more ruthless, and more insidious in their bullying than boys were. Boys might sneer at an unpopular girl, but it’s the girls who know where the other girls’ weaknesses are and how to exploit them.

  • Anonymous

    It doesn’t make a whole lot of difference… Boys AND Girls can be insufferably MEAN to each other…
    I put up with that all through Primary and Secondary School, and have the scars(psychological) to prove it… Not to mention the scars from years of therapy… Luckily, no brushes with the law, thank heaven…

  • Brianala

    I always had more friends that were boys, because it was other girls always perpetrating stuff like this.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=563223409 Vic Horsham

    Nah, the girls at my school ween’t too bad. The boys treated me with contempt and shite (bottom rung of the social ladder, woo!) – the girls just treated me with condescending pity.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001024198090 Scott Mccormick

    My boys would’nt even tolerate this kinda crap from their friends,much less some associate from school.Sounds like some parents need to purchase some large,heavy,books on etiquette and manners.Place the tomes lovingly into a pillowcase,and promptly beat some respect into their children.

  • http://twitter.com/risuther R Sutherland

    Boys only teased me in school. Girls openly bullied me. With the exception of one little douchebag of a dude in grade 10, it was always the girls who tormented me. Still, I generally get along better with girls.

  • http://twitter.com/WanderinDreamr hbm

    Back in elementary school I was bullied but as far as I can remember (starting to think I’m repressing these memories since I don’t remember much) it was mainly one really persistent girl who nobody could make just stop. Didn’t really get along with the guys but there wasn’t any bullying, and then everyone was weird in middle school regardless of gender and then high school was fine as far as I know. So yeah, for me the girls were always much nastier than the guys.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Allyn-Farach/100000323086023 Allyn Farach

    I think a girl did it-they have better connected social systems, and they usually get this news first.
    But yes, girls can be nastiest. Thankfully I was with a good group who supported me and wouldn’t let the bad stuff get through.

  • http://amidstdancers.blogspot.com/ Shard Aerliss

    Mmmm, Daily Fail article. One of the most hateful (esp. of ‘youths’, ‘liberals’ and the internet), racist, sexist, homophobic and every other nasty -ic and-ist you can think of tabloids in the UK. What are they doing with this story??

    Eugh, I’m going to have to give them a page hit, aren’t I?

    “It appears as if information about the girls was taken off the class’s Facebook site.”

    Wait… what?

    Idiots. Daily Freaking Fail idiots. http://tinyurl.com/3dcnp9t ; “The messages, sent to numerous Ipswich High students on Sunday, are under investigation by the Ipswich police. The sender gained access to student email addresses through a Facebook account set up by junior class officers related to next month’s prom.”

    Did I mention how much I hate the Daily Fail? They just want to throw dirt at Stalkerbook. The thing is; there’s plenty of dirt out there. The Fail are so used to making crap up they can’t find it within themselves to do some actual journalism and tell the truth for once.

    Anyway…

    Bullying is not a gender specific thing; boys and girls will pick on other boys and girls. It’s all about strength and weakness, and not the physical kind. Hell, men and women in the workplace (the grown up version of school) will bully other men and women and it’s not going to by physical bullying (sexual harassment being a different issue). To gain or keep an ‘alpha’ status people will try to show they are better than others. A bully is truly egalitarian in who they choose to help them show who’s boss; the only thing they are looking for is someone who won’t stand up to them, at least not very much.

    This isn’t really an internet issue. Something like this is quite replicate-able offline; type it up, print it out, stick it up on lampposts and phoneboxes all over the neighbourhood. Same result, it just takes a little more effort.

    As for allies in school; my friends were my allies, no matter their gender, age, race or religion.

  • Ajillo

    Growing up, the girls were the bullies. Boys generally left me alone. But the girls…they could be down right cruel.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_7G4SWUX2MCWWXLMYNN347JMIZY Frodo Baggins

    In High School, some girl I didn’t even know straight up coldcocked me in the hallway. In the fuckin’ throat, man!