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Of Course!

Cookie Monster Steals A Golden Cookie, Demands (Edible) Cookies for Sick Children As Ransom

by Rebecca Pahle | 2:43 pm, January 31st, 2013


No, not that Cookie Monster. Though if any Sesame Street character were to fall off the rails into a life of crime, a heist to benefit the children of the word is exactly the sort of thing they’d do, no?

The “golden cookie” in question is a gilded bronze sculpture stolen from the top of the headquarters of a German baker earlier this month. Two days ago Hannover, Germany’s local newspaper received a letter—made with letters cut out from magazines, no joke—from someone identifying themselves as “Krümel [Cookie in German] Monster.”

Reads the letter (any friendly German-speaker out there willing to translate the rest of it?):

“I have the biscuit! You want it and therefore you want on one day in February to give biscuits to all the children in Bult hospital. But those with milk chocolate, not those with dark chocolate and not those without chocolate. And a golden biscuit for the child cancer ward.”

Yeah, you hear that?! None of that dark chocolate junk. And if you try and give those poor kids biscuits with no chocolate, so help me…

As you can see, the Krümel Monster included a picture of themselves chowing down on what appears to be the missing cookie. That should be enough to clear the real-life Cookie Monster of any wrongdoing (Muppets and Sesame Street characters are real, OK, and I don’t want to hear otherwise), but CM took to Twitter to clear up matters himself as well, writing: “Me no steal the golden cookie. But me willing to help find real cookie thief!”

(via: ComicBookResources)

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  • Rizz Rustbolt

    Viral Marketing… Doing it… okay, I guess?

  • Anonymous

    Police believe that Cookie Monster had an accomplice answering to the title of the Cookie Crook to achieve this dastardly deed.

  • Ice-nine

    Translation of the rest of the letter:

    “Otherwise it won’t work! And on top of that, you will spend the 1000 euro reward on the animal shelter in Langenhagen. So hopefully you love the bisquit as much as I do and will be truly generous because of that! Really. And I mean it! Otherwise it will end up in the trash can with Oscar, Really!!! When you have done all of that, I’ll write another letter, then that will say where the bisquit is.”

    (The 1000 euro refers to a reward put out for the bisquit)

  • Rebecca Pahle

    Thanks!

  • http://www.aeryllou.tumblr.com/ Aeryl

    This story is adorable. I don’t want to condone thievery, but I can’t even.

  • http://twitter.com/nellydreadful Nelly Dreadful

    I KNOW. I mean, how do you NOT give in to those demands without feeling like a heel? “It is not our policy to cave to the demands of terrorists, therefore we utterly REFUSE to… give cookies to… dying… children… um… or give the reward… which we were offering anyway… to… homeless animals… wait…”

  • Countermass

    “Krümel” is by the way not the german word for cookie. It’s the word for crumb. So in Germany it’s actually the “Crumbmonster” ;-) The german word for cookie would be “Keks”.

  • Rebecca Pahle

    That’s what I get for not taking practical language classes. :( Thanks for letting me know.

  • Countermass

    No prob. It’s not that I’m educated – just german. So it was quite easy to spot *g*

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