Frustrated at the dominance of Japanese cats over the internet, Mariko has her own secret to YouTube success, and it’s just saying “no.”

I’m not entirely certain that this gag reel has been placed online in any official capacity… so we’ll have to see how long this particular version remains viewable. But for now, all I can say is: Cobie Smulders for President. Mark Ruffalo and his dainty hops for vice president.

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Yup, that’s an assassination umbrella, designed to infect a target with a toxic pellet of ricin, killing them slowly over a few days. It was last used on Georgi Markov, BBC reporter and Bulgarian defector, in 1978. If the Huffington Post’s article on “Spy, the Secret World of Espionage,” a travelling exhibit opening in New York this weekend, is any indication of the content of the exhibit, it’ll be interesting juxtapositions between little used James-Bondy items like this, and hard information on actual spywork. Like this quote from one of the major contributors to the exhibit’s collection: “New York is a hotbed of spies. There are more spies at the U.N. than diplomats.”

Anyway, lets look at some more stuff.

A Virginia church has banned local Girl Scout troops from wearing their uniforms to and meeting at their establishment. I’ll bet you’re wondering why. I’ll bet you’re thinking, “Gee, I hope this isn’t related to something about abortion rights, because Girl Scouts are in elementary and middle school, so seriously, what is this about?” It’s about abortion rights. The church says that the Girls Scouts of America’s “perceived connection” to Planned Parenthood goes against their “message.” Yup. This Chantilly, Virginia church is exercising its rights — to discriminate against young girls.

Captain America doesn’t come out on DVD for a week yet, but this weekend saw the debut of the release’s full accompanying short film A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Thor’s Hammer, which is great if you’re a fan of Agent Coulson.

And if you’re not a fan of Agent Coulson I’m not sure what to say to you. Clark Gregg, why do you think Agent Coulson is so lovable and sympathetic?

He’s the guy who’s tasked – a very disciplined guy in my opinion who possesses secrets that would turn your hair white – but at the same time he’s tasked with handling these kind of diva superheroes, you know? “Oh, really, Asgard? Dude, just get in the car.”

Exactly.

(via Digital Spy.)

Whenever you hear about a weird story happening with people either injuring themselves while attempting an inadvisable stunt or causing injury to someone else after making some wild, crazy claim, it’s not a nice thing to assume it happened in Florida. But honestly, much of the time, it happens in Florida. And in today’s installment of “A Weird Thing Happened in Florida,” a woman tried to eat a senior citizen who was confined to an electric wheelchair while telling him that she was a vampire.

We’d be remiss not to give some of our attention to this “comedy monologue” incident that has been discussed on several Tumblr sites as well as Jezebel and by Splitsider’s Halle Kiefer (who was actually there). Here is the gist of what happened at the UCB Theatre earlier this month: During a performance of Asssscat 3000, the improv performers — which included UCB founders Matt Besser and Ian Roberts — asked for audience suggestions for their improv scenes. One guy stood in front of the microphone and described a scene in which he had sex with a woman who did not want to have sex with him. A woman who repeatedly refused his advances, told him to stop … yeah. This guy confessed a rape.

“Weird Al” Yankovic has a lot of fans. In fact, some of them even work for this very blog. But we wouldn’t do something creepy like chase him through a water park, asking him to make our kids famous. (Nope, just down the street. Late at night. For my own career advice. I am still really sorry about that, Jimmy Fallon.)

(Laughing Squid)

In a brief fit of rage, Comcast pulled $18,000 worth of funding to the non-profit group Reel Grrls that would have covered their summer camp program. Why? Because of a Tweet. Comcast took heat for their decision and the funding was quickly reinstated. So, what exactly was in the offending Tweet? Did you think it might have something to do with a former FCC Commissioner approving the billion-dollar Comcast-NBCUniversal merger and then suddenly deciding to take a job with the newly-formed conglomerate? You guessed correctly.

I’m…

I’m the only one here who had Mr. Popper’s Penguins read to them as a child, aren’t I?

Dammit.

(via Screen Rant.)