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Science

  1. Please Tell Everyone We Use Our Whole Brains and Not Just 10%, Thanks

    Maybe it's that only 10% of people use their brains at all?

    If only someone would've told the Lucy screenwriters before... no. Now that I think about it, that probably wouldn't have helped the movie.

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  2. Very Important Scientific Study: Cows Hate the Sound of Cowbells

    You could say it makes them "mooserable."

    While nowadays most people associate cowbells with a over-enthusiastic Will Ferrell character, they're still pretty synonymous with the animals they were named after—particularly in Switzerland, where the cowbell is a national cultural symbol. But according to research from the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology in Zurich, cows actually really freaking hate those bells, and in some cases they even cause permanent hearing damage. Maybe stick to chocolate and army knives instead, Switzerland?

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  3. This Musical Tribute To Nikola Tesla Is Approximately 1000000x Cooler Than Thomas Edison

    Seriously, Thomas Edison is the worst.

    Matthew Inman (aka The Oatmeal) loves Nikola Tesla. Like, really loves Nikola Tesla. Inman loves Tesla so much that Inman actually saved Tesla's former laboratory from destruction, owns it, and now wants to turn it into a Tesla Museum. So rad. To educate the rest of the world about how awesome Tesla is, Inman and Sarah Donner created this musical homage to his brilliance, and it's pretty great.

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  4. New Study Closes the Evolutionary Gap Between Dinosaurs and Birds

    Hold onto your butts.

    Science has known for a while that birds and dinosaurs are evolutionarily linked, but it's been difficult to establish a direct connection between today's birds and their giant, people-hungry ancestors. Now, a new study uses the existing fossil record and several recent finds of feathered dinosaurs to draw a direct connection, so now we know how they flocked this way.

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  5. Spherical Rock on Mars Proves Aliens Enjoy Golf or Are Big Fans of Spaceballs

    This just in: There are balls on Ma—wait. Phrasing.

    Seriously, Mars? We send 1,982 pounds and $2.5 billion of science up there, and you just throw out a ball and try to play fetch with it like a dog? I mean, I guess that's better than vaporizing it on sight, but come on. Have some respect.

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  6. Evolutionary Anthropologist: Misogyny Not An Inherent Human Trait, Online Harassers Are “Bitter Baboons”

    Sorry, baboons. No offense.

    In his Slate article "Misogyny is Not Human Nature," evolutionary anthropologist Eric Michael Johnson quotes a Reddit user's excuse for the recent nude picture leaks: "[there is] something inherent about human nature that makes this kind of thing inevitable.”

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  7. YouTube’s Superwoman and AsapSCIENCE Get to the Bottom of Whether Periods Make You Moody

    "Why are you so moody?" "BECAUSE SCIENCE, OK!?"

    Hey, it takes a lot of work to go through the process that allows for the entire human race's continued existence every month, so a little moodiness is warranted. It's also scientifically unavoidable, so the next time someone accuses you of being moody from PMS, tell them that science and the future of humanity don't care about their feelings.

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  8. We’re Doomed: Scientists Have Invented Shapeshifting Liquid Metal, the T-1000 Draws Near

    Come with me if you want to live joke nervously and await our demise.

    Because science won't be happy until we've all been enslaved by our robot overlords, eaten by dinosaurs, and reanimated as zombies, researchers have made another breakthrough in bringing your nightmares to life and created shapeshifting metal. And here you were worried that we'd all be embarrassingly defeated by lowly T-800 models.

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  9. Little Mermaid “Under the Sea” Parody Shows It’s Not Always Better Down Where It’s Wetter

    Singing crabs are the least of the deep sea's horrors.

    I guess Sebastian is having misgivings about extolling the virtues of living under the sea and feels the need to clarify that they only apply to a happy middle ground between the shore and the ocean floor. Otherwise, you're in for a worser fate.

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  10. NASA Report Now Says Private Human Spaceflight May Raise ISS Costs

    This is why we can't have nice things.

    NASA was pretty pumped about their decision to award Boeing and SpaceX with contracts to bring human spaceflight back to the U.S., but a new internal audit shows they might not want to get over the Moon about it just yet. As it turns out, maintaining the ISS until 2024 with private contractors may actually cost more money than the already expensive Russian Soyuz space capsules.

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