By now you may have seen the picture floating around of a flyer distributed by an unnamed preschool that has banned “Super Hero play.” If not: Yes, there is such a preschool. Apparently kids have been getting a little rowdy there lately—which is absolutely a problem that should be solved—so the school decided, hey, instead of addressing the violence issue, let’s just say they can’t pretend to be superheroes.

The letter, with my commentary, is behind the cut. I am unable to can with this one, folks.

Okay, I admit. I haven’t seen Catwoman. I know that for proper purposes of legitimacy, people are supposed to see a thing before they talk about how bad it is, but come on. This movie came out before I started college and ever knew that I would ever have to back up my opinions on movies for more than my own friends, let alone the entire internet. And now? Now you couldn’t pay me to watch Catwoman. I could be watching The Dark Knight Rises instead.

So that’s how I didn’t know that the movie contained this absolutely hilarious train wreck of a scene. Which is the weirder part? Grown adults apparently purposefully turning a game of one-on-one in to thinly veiled physical sexual innuendo in full view of children? That a child would ask two grown adults to play basketball for him instead of with him? Thank you, MTV Movies and Reddit, for making sure that I knew about this.

Yup, John Hughes’ Weird Science is the next classic 80s film to get the remake treatment. 

Well now. Usually when we hear about something whacktastic Facebook has done it’s related to their ever-present disregard for privacy. I almost appreciate how they’re giving Facebook users a nice variety of reasons to delete their accounts. Autoplay ads? Really, Facebook? Not cool.

Apparently the news of this film came out earlier this year. We either didn’t see it or we blacked out when we heard it. Either way, here we are. A sequel to the 1988 comedy Twins, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito is getting a sequel. The two leads will return. It will be called Triplets. Eddie Murphy will play their new lost brother from the same mother. Previously, it wasn’t certain this was happening but now they’ve got a writer attached so prepare yourself in whatever way you feel necessary. I’m going to pull out my zombie apocalypse kit. 

OK all you “those kids today!” naysayers, it appears that you’re at least partially right about the decline of humanity. A study by Stanford University geneticist Gerald Crabtree has found that humanity is getting stupider… albeit very, very gradually. Human intelligence peaked about 2,000 years ago, says Crabtree, and we’ve been on the slow train to Stupidville ever since.

Sadly, it probably won’t involve Superboy or the Legion of Superheroes, or any other trappings of Golden Age DC Comics.

But I’m guessing it’ll involve a bionic limb.

Sometimes (fine, oftentimes), the world makes it abundantly clear that the issue of sexist thought is so deeply ingrained in the heads of us humans that it might still take another few millenia to sink in. It’s days like these when we want to repeatedly hit our heads against concrete.

By the time this far-off time actually takes place, we’ll surely be under the regime of our robot overlords. But even the robots can’t catch a break: They’re suffering from human sexism, too.

Okay, so, as the resident heavily-tattooed lady at The Mary Sue (Jill sports a couple, I sport over 20), stories about geek tattoos elicit all kinds of reactions from me. Oftentimes, my reaction is joyous, because there is nothing more beautiful than waving one’s geek flag in the form of a gorgeous, well-thought-out work of body art. However this story did not make me feel joy. It made me feel annoyed. At a wasted opportunity. And at carelessness. Tattoos are a commitment, and this person got the tattoo above, of Edward Cullen from Twilight, while blindfolded, on a bet. The good news is that it was covered up with something spectacularly geeky and far superior. The bad news is that this happened in the first place.

Have you heard about DC Comics publishing another Watchmen book? Call it a Watchmen prequel, call it Watchmen 2 but it’s been rumored for a while and seems to be finally coming to fruition. Thanks in part to some leaked art from the project, apparently codenamed “Panic Room,” a petition has surfaced trying to end the comic full-stop. And no, the first name on the petition is not Alan Moore.