When I was home for Christmas in 2011, we tried the original Portal. I figured the mechanics were simple enough for someone who didn’t game. No inventory, no stats, no combat tactics. What I hadn’t thought to consider was that my mom didn’t know how WASD worked. After just a few rooms, she’d become a little frustrated, and the first-person camera view was making her disoriented. We took a break, and for no real reason, we never picked it back up.

We were both determined to try again. My mom has a real affection for GLaDOS, born out of videos and my anecdotes. And I, always grateful for her willingness to listen to me wax on about a medium she doesn’t take part in, was eager for her to get a hands-on understanding of one of my favorites. This time, I decided on Portal 2 instead, with the goal of playing co-op together. I thought she might feel more at ease with me in the game alongside her. But first, I had to get her used to the basics. I pulled up a chair, and we started a single-player game.

I’ve been telling myself to stay out of this debate. I’ve been assuring myself that any time spent reading rants, posts, and their circular comments will only make me feel resentful and defensive. I tell myself that the fight is over and no one won. I rationalize that only a few people are ruining it for the rest of us and therefore, those few should just be ignored. I vow to stop drawing attention to this ridiculous creature, to stop reinforcing the idea that the “Fake Geek Girl” exists.

“Why don’t you just drop it?” “Why can’t you take a joke?” “Why aren’t you over this?” I ask myself these things too.

The truth is, I don’t know.

The debate about the link between video games and real-world violence has been popping up in the news again. A recently published study states that long-term gameplay does increase aggression, while an earlier video by GameSpot series The What If Machine outlined why the issue is too complex to address conclusively. While I can’t add anything to the scientific discussion, the sidenote that I feel is missing is why adults — you know, the people who these games are made for — enjoy violent gameplay in the first place. Perhaps it doesn’t matter in terms of researching aggression, but when people start fretting about violence in games, I get the impression that they imagine adult gamers as stunted miscreants, hopelessly addicted to our mind-sucking murder simulators. That much, at least, I feel qualified to talk about.

Last weekend, I played Omega, the latest DLC for Mass Effect 3. It’s good. Not great. Solidly good. But while it’s not the most memorable DLC of the series (Lair of the Shadow Broker still reigns supreme in my book), there was one thing I noticed right off the bat. Omega does not give you a choice of squadmates, so for most of the mission, you’re teamed up with ruthless crime boss Aria T’Loak and chaotic good newcomer Nyreen Kandros, the game’s first female Turian. If you play Commander Shepard as a woman, as I do, this means that the entire story revolves around the heroic exploits of three ladies. Three badass, intelligent, well-written ladies, two of which have a compelling romantic history. I grinned, aimed my assault rifle, and thought, “This is awesome.”

It’s okay. I used to be one of you. I haven’t read the comics, and I don’t watch the TV series, so when I first heard about Telltale Games releasing an episodic point-and-click tie-in, I didn’t give it much thought. I probably thought, “meh, zombies,” and went on to other things. This was a mistake. Listen, I get it. If you’re not familiar with the comics or the show, or if you’re feeling like zombie games are past their prime, I understand why this one hasn’t piqued your interest yet. So let me start with this:

The Walking Dead is quite possibly the best game of the year.

So, here’s a question: why are female video game protagonists so rare? Their absence is palpable, and we talk often of how we want to see more of them, but the why of it is typically addressed with generalizations about target audiences and a lack of women in game development. Penny Arcade Report senior editor Ben Kuchera wanted better answers than that, so he did what any red-blooded gamer would do — he found some numbers to crunch.

Earlier this week, I was contacted by Gordon Luk, lead developer of newly-released indie game Beast Boxing Turbo. He had come across the article I wrote on what women want in female game protagonists, and was left with some questions about his own work. See, Beast Boxing’s got a female protagonist, but she’s the only lady in the game. This is a trope I mentioned as being problematic, and Mr. Luk was worried about the affect it had on his game, and if women gamers might be put off by it. He offered me a copy of the game and asked for my two cents. I asked for his permission to dissect his concerns publicly, to which he agreed. I got to playing, and now, here we are. Having recently become the boxing champion of Beasthalla, I can safely say the following:

Gordon, you’ve got nothing to worry about.

In 108 minutes, Wreck-It Ralph accomplishes something the entire video game industry has failed to achieve for more than 30 years: Wreck-It Ralph contains more positive and nuanced female characters than the entire current video game landscape. Three major consoles. Hundreds of major and indie developers. Mobile and handheld gaming. Thousands of writers, programmers and artists. Millions, maybe even billions, in marketing dollars. All schooled by one movie.

I applaud the filmmakers, but I’m utterly baffled, because they made it look easy. And for so long, we have been told it’s “hard” to sell games with female characters we can look up to, care for and relate to. I think $49.1 million at the box office, which is Disney Animation’s highest opening weekend in history, tells a very different story. Listen up gamers, it’s time for a revolution.

Let’s start with Vanellope Von Schweetz and her home game, Sugar Rush.

Editor’s Note: The rest of this post contains SPOILERS. Read at your own risk!

Start a discussion about harassment in games, and two words are bound to come up: Xbox and Halo. Seeing as how the latter is one of the most successful game franchises ever, which runs on one of the world’s most popular consoles, this perhaps has to do less with the game itself and more with the fact that it represents a huge chunk of the gaming community. Heated competition undoubtedly plays a part as well, but whatever the reason for it, if you want to show someone just how bad things can get in multiplayer gaming, Halo’s the poster child.

Which is why it was a pretty big deal earlier this week when Gamespot published an interview with Kiki Wolfkill, executive producer of Halo 4, and Bonnie Ross, head of Microsoft subsidiary 343 Industries (the game’s developer). With Halo 4 poised for launch next Tuesday, they had a message for their players: Sexist language on Xbox Live will get you a permaban.

If you keep tabs on the world of gaming, you’re probably aware that the League of Legends community has a reputation for being a bit…let’s say caustic. This isn’t terribly surprising, considering that LoL is a MOBA, a genre that is all too often associated with vicious trash talk (not that I mean you, dear reader, I know you’re well behaved). But LoL developer Riot Games has a kinder, gentler future in mind for their players. Since October 1, Riot’s been conducting a fascinating social experiment through LoL’s new Honor system — an attempt to curb toxic behavior not through punishment, but positive reinforcement.

And the awesome thing is, it seems to be working.