Ok, first of all, don’t get excited about the image. I chose it for obvious reasons, my head is spinning and I have no idea what the hell is going on. Ok, I kind of know what’s going on and it’s that Gail Simone is back on Batgirl at DC Comics after being unceremoniously fired two weeks ago. WHAT IS HAPPENING I AM SO CONFUSED?!?! 

Hey, remember that time earlier this week when Matt Groening, the creator of The Simpsons, said that the town of Springfield, where the show takes place, is located in Oregon? It was an announcement that dispelled over two decades of speculation as to where this generic-sounding town was in these United States. Well, you can forget about it — Groening says he’s been misquoted, and The Simpsons does not take place in Springfield, Oregon. But I hope Portlandia does a sketch about this anyway.

It’s been a veritable carousel of suitors for the supernatural literary mashup, and now the third director to sign on to the adaptation of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies has stepped down. Craig Gillespie has reportedly passed on the film adaptation of Seth Grahame-Smith‘s novel, citing a disagreement about casting. The rumor is that they’re looking for an A-lister to play the lead role of Elizabeth Bennett. We’re kind of curious about who Gillespie had in mind that Lionsgate didn’t want, and vice versa. But why is this project such a chronic reject-a-thon? Are we … over zombies?

Earlier this week, we pointed out that Batman was, in fact, part of the “1%,” but supported the Occupy Wall Street movement. But for a little while there, it looked like the closest thing we got to Batman IRL — in the form of Christian Bale — was going to be coming to Zuccotti Park to shoot Christopher Nolan‘s The Dark Knight Rises. In what is probably not surprising news, however, the movie will not be shooting by Zuccotti Park and Batman will not be showing up to support Occupy Wall Street in person. So, if there was a guy with an amazing Batman costume — or a not-that-amazing Batman costume — who wanted to show up at OWS and say, “I am the 1%” in a gravelly voice, he can do that now, because Bale will be otherwise, ahem, occupied.

Hey, remember that time Netflix said that they were “making some changes,” that it was going to be exclusively streaming and separate its instant video from its DVD delivery service? Well, as Emily Litella would say, “Never mind!” Netflix has announced that just three weeks after announcing Qwikster for DVD delivery, it’s ditching that idea and just sticking to offering all services as Netflix. Oh, Netflix, you incorrigible scamp.

Sad face. I signed myself up for the Beta of J.K. Rowling’s Pottermore (with three different email addresses I might add) on the first day you were able to do so – Harry Potter and Rowling’s birthday, July 31. You know what I still don’t have? A beta code to Pottermore. What’s worse, even those that do won’t be able to read the best-selling book series on the website until next year.

The mission to turn every Hasbro board game into a movie has yet another defeat: Universal has passed on making a movie based on the 100%-supernatural-and-not-at-all-fake Ouija Board, making it the only board-game-inspired movie to have probably made for a genuinely entertaining movie that would not have raised the hackles of its most devoted fans. It was set to be directed by McG and produced by Michael Bay. And had I consulted a Ouija Board before writing the sentence where I said this might have made a good movie, I would not have written the sentence with McG and Michael Bay in it.

Well, that’s a pretty gigantic surprise: Disney has canceled production on its Lone Ranger movie. While a studio changing its mind on a movie is not usually huge news, this is Disney, halting any further progress on a movie set to star Armie Hammer as the titular Ranger and Johnny Depp as Tonto, with Gore Verbinski as a director and Jerry Bruckheimer as a producer. Apparently, it had nothing to do with buzz and everything to do with budget. And Depp is bummed.

It’s over, guys. The racebending, controversial, never-really-in-production live-action remake of the classic anime Akira appears to have totally fallen apart. After director Albert Hughes walked away from the project at the end of May and possible star Keanu Reeves passed on the project, no one else really wanted to step up. And word came from production designer Chris Weston in a recent blog post that the entire thing just “floundered.” So, that’s that. And now Keanu won’t have a potentially horrible movie making him all depressed.

So despite all those reports floating around that Comic-Con would be utterly lacking in showcases by upcoming films this year, there are now rumors floating around that The Avengers might make an appearance at the convention after all.