Mark Meyerhoff and his colleagues have made a discovery that could potentially revolutionize the treatment of diabetes: Tears can be used to track blood sugar levels. As I’m sure you are aware from those commercials involving B.B. King, for the moment, diabetics who need to check their blood sugar (as they frequently do) are stuck with the current, inconvenient solution of pricking their fingers and drawing literal blood to test. Granted, it’s not always the fingers, but the fact remains that diabetics have to make themselves bleed on a daily basis just to get by. Meyerhoff is hoping this discovery will change that.
There’s still a ways to go with the whole blood sugar tears thing, but the initial tests have shown that the method has promise. What were the initial tests, you ask? Well, the researchers took a bunch of rabbits and made them cry, presumably by beating them with a switch after catching them in Mr. McGregor’s garden. The sweet, sweet bunny tears yielded by the experiment showed that there is indeed a connection between blood sugar level in tears and in the bloodstream.
If this all pans out in further tests, it means that diabetics may no longer have to repeatedly stab themselves, something that is especially good considering the obesity crisis is practically churning out Type 2 diabetics. In the future, we can only hope, instead of drawing blood, diabetics can instead work themselves into hysterical fits of panic and despair several times daily, and monitor their blood sugar levels that way. Or, you know, just by collecting the naturally occurring tears that are always in the eyes anyways, but who wouldn’t benefit from a half dozen bawling breakdowns every day?
- A whole bunch of rabbits at an old Japanese chemical weapons plant
- Bunnies in paper cups
- Endangered pygmy rabbits, reintroduced to the wild