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Bill Gates Has Invented Remote-Controlled Birth Control

Now, where's the button that turns Hobby Lobby off?

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Not a fan of IUDs or other hormonal contraception options? Don’t worry, friends, the future of our fallopian tubes is bright! The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation is currently experimenting with an incredible microchip that could be embedded into the body to provide convenient and reliable protection for far longer than any currently available hormonal birth control. Now if I can just keep track of where I put the remote…

According to the MIT Tech Review,MicroCHIPS,an organization sponsored by the Foundation,has been hard at work on the revolutionary implant for the past two years after being prompted by Bill Gates himself. The microchip would release a timed dosage of 30 micrograms of levonorgestrel daily when triggered by a battery inside the device.

Microchip users who decide to conceive will be able to use the remote to turn their protection on and off at will without seeing a physician, and doctors will be able to alter dosages remotely. The chip also offers protection for an impressive sixteen years–that’s eleven more years than any hormonal option on the market today.  Gizmodo says the device could be available as soon as 2018 but first (thankfully) the team wants to develop a code strong enough to stop anyone but the birth control user from hitting the “baby make” button.

Potential ovary hackers, you are on notice: do not mess this up for me and my menses! In the meantime, science: maybe some more birth control options for testicle-havers, please?

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