Beef Roses Are Red (Meat)

Recommended Videos

Flowers may be a good last-minute Valentine’s gift, an easy fallback, or the one thing you can think of that you know she wants, but sometimes your average bouquet might seem a little tired, cliché, and entirely inedible. That is, unless your dear is a deer. If she’s a omnivorous human female on the other hand, and you want to switch things up a bit, you might appreciate a little work of art called “Steak Bouquet” by butcher Antony Bowness of the Quality Standard Beef and Lamb in Tewkesbury, Gloucestershire.

Not much of a sap himself, Bowness was trying to brainstorm a way to give the gift of flowers without being all flowery about it. Naturally, he landed on the solution “just make them out of meat.” I, on the other hand, am a sap, so I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to completely sap-ify Bowness’s manly bouquet with a poem:

Beef roses are red meat,
Raw bacon is too,
But nothing is rarer,
Than my love for you.
Or the steak I got at that restaurant last year; I swear you could hear it mooing.

The jury’s still out on that last line.

(via The Daily What)

Nice to meat you


The Mary Sue is supported by our audience. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn a small affiliate commission. Learn more
related content
Read Article Why Are People Mad at This Preschool YouTuber?
Ms. Rachel for Littles and Jules for Littles on TikTok
Read Article Taylor Swift Told Us Years Ago What the Reaction to ‘The Tortured Poets Department’ Would Be
Taylor Swift alum covers 'folklore' and 'The Tortured Poets Department'
Read Article No One Was More Excited About The Spice Girls Reuniting Than David Beckham
The Spice Girls in 1997, mugging for the camera
Read Article A ‘Dead Poets Society’ Reunion in a Taylor Swift Music Video Was NOT on My Bingo Card
A scene from Taylor Swift's latest music video Fortnight featuring Dead Poets Society actors Ethan Hawke and Josh Charles
Read Article Taylor Swift Courts Backlash by Romanticizing the 1830s as Only a Wealthy White Woman Can
Taylor Swift wears an old-timey black dress in the music video for 'Fortnight'.
Related Content
Read Article Why Are People Mad at This Preschool YouTuber?
Ms. Rachel for Littles and Jules for Littles on TikTok
Read Article Taylor Swift Told Us Years Ago What the Reaction to ‘The Tortured Poets Department’ Would Be
Taylor Swift alum covers 'folklore' and 'The Tortured Poets Department'
Read Article No One Was More Excited About The Spice Girls Reuniting Than David Beckham
The Spice Girls in 1997, mugging for the camera
Read Article A ‘Dead Poets Society’ Reunion in a Taylor Swift Music Video Was NOT on My Bingo Card
A scene from Taylor Swift's latest music video Fortnight featuring Dead Poets Society actors Ethan Hawke and Josh Charles
Read Article Taylor Swift Courts Backlash by Romanticizing the 1830s as Only a Wealthy White Woman Can
Taylor Swift wears an old-timey black dress in the music video for 'Fortnight'.
Author