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Posts by Dan Van Winkle

    Dan Van Winkle — Associate Editor

    Dan is a video game modding hobbyist and secret ninja who lives in New Jersey.

  1. Dorkly Shows Nintendo’s Smash Bros. Fighters That There’s a Better Way

    Except for you, Luigi. Take your death stare elsewhere.

    What makes Mario think it's OK to just punch his friends in the face? In fact, everything he does somehow needs to be violent, so let's revisit Smash Bros. with Dorkly and see if Nintendo's mascots can find a better way for them to have a smashing good time. (Sorry. Couldn't resist.)

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  2. There’s a Nasty Bug Affecting Mac, Linux, and Other Devices That Use Linux, Check to See If You’re Affected

    Someone call Kernel Panic! Tech puns!

    A vulnerability has just been detected in the Bash Unix shell that is used by Mac OS X computers, Linux machines, and various other devices like routers. The Bash Bug, also known as "Shellshock," has been rated a 10 out of 10 on the Common Vulnerability Scoring System scale that's the tech industry standard for scoring security threats. Here's how to check and protect your system.

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  3. YouTube’s Superwoman and AsapSCIENCE Get to the Bottom of Whether Periods Make You Moody

    "Why are you so moody?" "BECAUSE SCIENCE, OK!?"

    Hey, it takes a lot of work to go through the process that allows for the entire human race's continued existence every month, so a little moodiness is warranted. It's also scientifically unavoidable, so the next time someone accuses you of being moody from PMS, tell them that science and the future of humanity don't care about their feelings.

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  4. Your Space Battle Physics Are All Wrong, and It’s All George Lucas’s Fault

    Surprising no one.

    Need another thing to be mad at George Lucas about? It's Okay to Be Smart has an video deconstruction of what's wrong with the science behind fictional space battles and why it's all his fault. Or you could accept that some scientific concessions made by space battles in movies are there as audio/visual cues for the audience's benefit for filmmaking reasons, and others could be explained by science so advanced it seems impossible to our current, mostly non-spacefaring civilization. Your choice.

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  5. Despite What You May Have Heard, Black Holes Haven’t Exactly Been Disproven

    Rumors of black holes' deaths have been greatly exaggerated.

    New mathematical calculations by Laura Mersini-Houghton, a physics professor and theoretical physicist at University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill, show that black holes may not actually exist! Amazing, right? Well, yes, it is amazing, but that doesn't make it a fact.

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  6. Even Baby Groot Is More [Censored] Metal Than You in His “Groots Bloody Groots” Metal Parody

    I bet you thought I was going to put "I am Groot" here.

    You thought Groot was made of wood? WRONG. Groot is 100% pure, grade A [expletive deleted] metal. Here to demonstrate that fact for you is a music video parody of the song "Roots Bloody Roots" by Sepultura with dancing baby Groot. You get one guess what the new lyrics are.

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  7. We’re Doomed: Scientists Have Invented Shapeshifting Liquid Metal, the T-1000 Draws Near

    Come with me if you want to live joke nervously and await our demise.

    Because science won't be happy until we've all been enslaved by our robot overlords, eaten by dinosaurs, and reanimated as zombies, researchers have made another breakthrough in bringing your nightmares to life and created shapeshifting metal. And here you were worried that we'd all be embarrassingly defeated by lowly T-800 models.

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  8. NASA Telescopes Discover Water on Distant Planet, the Search for Alien Life Continues!

    Now they just need to look for earth, fire, wind, and heart.

    Researchers using several NASA telescopes have detected water in the atmosphere of a distant exoplanet. It's the smallest exoplanet which has had atmospheric elements identified, which is an important step in the search for worlds outside our solar system that may support life.

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  9. Little Mermaid “Under the Sea” Parody Shows It’s Not Always Better Down Where It’s Wetter

    Singing crabs are the least of the deep sea's horrors.

    I guess Sebastian is having misgivings about extolling the virtues of living under the sea and feels the need to clarify that they only apply to a happy middle ground between the shore and the ocean floor. Otherwise, you're in for a worser fate.

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  10. India Just Became the First Country to Put a Spacecraft in Mars Orbit on the First Try

    And for less money than it cost to put humans in pretend space in Gravity.

    Only a handful of nations have ever had a spacecraft successfully orbit Mars—the United States, Russia, and the European Space Agency if you count slingshotting spacecraft through Mars' gravity for other goals—and India is now one of them. Today, their Mars orbiter, Mangalyaan, made the Indian Space Research Organisation the first space program to ever successfully put a spacecraft in Mars orbit on the first try.

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