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Posts by Dan Van Winkle

    Dan Van Winkle — Associate Editor

    Dan is a video game modding hobbyist and secret ninja who lives in New Jersey.

  1. Survey Shows Satire News Programs Inform People Better Than Actual News on Net Neutrality

    Wait. Those "regular" news shows aren't just elaborate jokes?

    Buried in a survey on whether or not most of the public in the United States opposes Internet fast lanes—they do, by the way—is a fun little chart showing viewers of which news programs felt they'd heard the most about net neutrality. Surprise! The Daily ShowThe Colbert Report, and Last Week Tonight are by far the top three. Go ahead and have a big belly laugh over Jon Stewart insisting he wasn't real news on Crossfire all those years ago.

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  2. Things We Saw Today: Walk Your Dog Like a Xenomorph Queen With the Facehugger Leash

    Chestburster (thankfully) not included.

    Finally subjugate those dangerous alien murder machines and make them help walk your adorable pet with the Facehugger leash. Just... make sure it's securely fashioned, OK? Don't take any chances.

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  3. Looks Like Chris Pratt Has Lined Up His Next Comic Movie Gig: Starring in Cowboy Ninja Viking

    Something good. Something badass. A bit of both.

    Cowboy Ninja Viking has been in development Hell for a few years, but now that the man who recently became one of the biggest comic book movie stars on the planet is involved, it's probably safe to say this movie is finally going to happen.

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  4. Robin Apparently Has a “Prenatal” Origin Story Coming up on Gotham, But Harley Quinn Will Have to Wait

    Jingle bells. Batman smells. Robin laid was in an egg.

    Hey, we could do a Harley Quinn origin to give fans something, since we're putting off the Joker for now... Nah, screw it. Let's do a backstory for a character who isn't even born yet.

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  5. Now You Can Write Your Very Own “Feminist Hacker” Barbie Book Using This Helpful Text Generator

    Way better than asking for two dudes to do it for you.

    OK, so you've seen the awful Barbie book, and you've seen the improved versions made by people who just want life to be good, but all this time, you've been wondering, "How can I get in on the action?" Well, now there's a website that lets you make Barbie into just the kind of badass computer hacking feminist you always wanted her to be.

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  6. Walmart’s Amazon Price Matching Backfires Almost Instantly With $90 PS4 Scam

    Well that escalated quickly.

    Walmart has long had an "Ad Match" program to price-match other stores, but just days ago they began officially matching prices at select online retailers, including Amazon. So, of course, the Internet had to go and ruin everything by setting up some official-looking PS4 sale pages with incredibly low prices and getting them price-matched.

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  7. ESA’s Philae Detects Organic Compounds on Comet, Mission a Huge Success

    Still not aliens.

    Celebration over ESA's historic landing on a comet may have been temporarily put on hold when the Philae lander was determined to be in a poor position to use its solar panels and lost power, but data it sent back before then still holds potential for some amazing discoveries. Now, ESA has announced that the comet is indeed home to organic compounds—but still no actual organic organisms. Just one little robot. Sorry.

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  8. It’s a Final Fantasy VII Remake! …In LittleBigPlanet 2 & 3, but Still

    Tifa Sackheart?

    A dedicated Final Fantasy VII fan and computer science student used LittleBigPlanet 2 and 3's game-making tools to rebuild FFVII from scratch, and it came out an adorable, bizarre, perfect homage. (Full video of the levels after the jump.)

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  9. Awful Barbie Book I Can Be a Computer Engineer Sends the Opposite Message to Girls

    It's Tuesday, so here's Barbie sending girls the wrong message.

    You're feeling generous, you excellent parent you! Your daughter tears into her gift, which is a Barbie book that you've assumed based on the title Barbie: I Can Be a Computer Engineer will be an empowering look at how Barbie can become a computer programmer no matter how many offensive shirts people wear. Surprise! You've been had, and your little one has learned that she should have a pillow fight while boys do all that hard computer work for her.

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  10. Goat Simulator‘s Upcoming Goat MMO Simulator Patch Looks as Epically Bonkers as You’d Expect

    We have a T-Rex!

    There's only room for so much crazy in a single sim game. To make room for all the extra madness of Goat Simulator, the lazy developers at Coffee Stain Studios have gotten off their butts to create Goat MMO Simulator as free DLC for the original game. Do note that it's an MMO simulator. Actual MMO-ness may vary.

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