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Posts by Dan Van Winkle

    Dan Van Winkle — Associate Editor

    Dan is a video game modding hobbyist and secret ninja who lives in New Jersey.

  1. 13-Year-Old Girl in Training to Be the First Person on Mars, NASA Thinks She Could Succeed

    Just watch out for those water monsters.

    Mark this one down in the win column for women in STEM. Whether or not Alyssa Carson actually achieves her big dream of making history on Mars, her dedication to studies in science and languages, plus her becoming the first person to attend all three of NASA's world space camps, is inspiring. Don't take my word for it—NASA spokesman Paul Foreman agrees.

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  2. We’re Officially Getting Jurassic World LEGO Sets. Someone Must Have Said the Magic Word.

    Please, dammit!

    Chris Pratt continues to be inextricable from tiny plastic bricks as Universal has announced that LEGO will be a Jurassic World licensing partner. Tiny pastic dinosaurs incoming!

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  3. Several 1.5-Ton Gargoyles Have Gone Missing From a Church, Somebody Question David Xanatos

    Maybe they're out on some kind of world tour?

    A bunch of impractically large gargoyles have disappeared from a church in Massachusetts, and church officials have no idea what happened. I mean, it's not like they could just get up and walk away, right?

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  4. Hilarious Glitch Reveals the Scariest Thing About Alien: Isolation

    ='(

    Being alone with the Xenomorph is starting to get to Amanda. "What? Scary alien monster stalking me? I'm sorry. I can't hear you. La la la la. Nope. Nothing more horrifying here than this door. Ahhh! See? See how scary just this door is? So nothing any scarier than that needs to happen, thank you. All good here on scary things."

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  5. Comcast Purposefully Gets Unhappy Customer Fired, Reaches Peak Sh*tbaggery

    At least he has plenty of time to watch his overpriced TV now?

    Beware, Comcast customers who are upset with customer service—which I understand to be all Comcast customers—next time you ask to speak to a service rep's supervisor, they may also want to speak with yours.

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  6. Send Your Name to Mars Aboard NASA’s Orion and Get Interplanetary Frequent Flyer Miles

    Great. How many do I need to get to Mars myself?

    NASA wants your name to be written in the stars! Or at the very least, they want to put it on a microchip and shoot it into space for science, which actually sounds a lot more useful.

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  7. Things We Saw Today: The Adorableness That Is the 12th Doctor Meeting Jo Grant AKA Katy Manning

    We've time traveled, yes?

    Former Doctor Who cast member Katy Manning (companion to the third Doctor) dropped by the filming of the upcoming Christmas special and recreated some nostalgic moments with Peter Capaldi as the twelfth Doctor. There's even more time periods colliding—which, really, is the Doctor's specialty—where that came from.

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  8. The Honest Trailer for Transformers: Age of Extinction Reminds Us the Franchise Should Go Extinct

    Giant asteroids, we've got a job for you.

    There is really a scene in this movie in which the characters take a break from the plot to explain why it's legal for the adult male and underage female characters to sleep together. That's all I have to say about that.

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  9. New York Times Apologizes for Racist India Space Program Cartoon

    "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Prejudice."

    Recently, India became only the first country ever to put a spacecraft in Mars orbit on the first try with their Mars Orbiter Mission (MOM). While Mars needs MOM, no one needed the New York Times cartoon about India's maturing space program.

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  10. Rumor Roundup: Today Is Open Season on Crazy Spider-Man/Avengers and X-Men Rumors

    Let the rampant speculation begin!

    If the rumor mill were an arcade machine, today somebody just straight up ninja kicked it until it broke open and started spewing tokens everywhere. And among the payout are rumors involving the Avengers getting less Avengers but maybe some additional Spider-Man and making everyone's dreams come true.

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