I struggled with the use of the phrase “slow motion train wreck” for this title. I mean, certainly, it’s impossible to look away from the development of the 50 Shades movie, regardless of whether you’re actually interested in it or even if you think that it’s a sign of the encroaching apocalypse. But train wreck implies that at some point there at least existed a functioning machine at the heart of the thing. This is more like watching a balloon slowly, inevitably deflate. Except the gravity of a Hollywood movie production makes it a really big balloon. It’s like if, instead of bursting into a maelstrom of fire, the Hindenburg had just sprung a leak and sunk slowly to the ground in New Jersey over a period of seven hours, emitting a thunderous “fweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-” the whole time.
Watching it, you’d think: well, if everybody in there keeps calm and acts with common sense, I’m sure no one will get hurt, but what are the odds of that, really?
(via The Wall Street Journal.)
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