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The Slow Motion Train Wreck That Is the 50 Shades of Grey Movie Has a Trailer Now

Is it just me or does this have all the same beats of a horror movie trailer?

I struggled with the use of the phrase “slow motion train wreck” for this title. I mean, certainly, it’s impossible to look away from the development of the 50 Shades movie, regardless of whether you’re actually interested in it or even if you think that it’s a sign of the encroaching apocalypse. But train wreck implies that at some point there at least existed a functioning machine at the heart of the thing. This is more like watching a balloon slowly, inevitably deflate. Except the gravity of a Hollywood movie production makes it a really big balloon. It’s like if, instead of bursting into a maelstrom of fire, the Hindenburg had just sprung a leak and sunk slowly to the ground in New Jersey over a period of seven hours, emitting a thunderous “fweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-” the whole time.

Watching it, you’d think: well, if everybody in there keeps calm and acts with common sense, I’m sure no one will get hurt, but what are the odds of that, really?

(via The Wall Street Journal.)

Previously in 50 Shades of Grey

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