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What's with the name?

Allow us to explain.

Oh Hollywood

Here’s Who Won At Last Night’s Oscars. Besides William Shatner, That Is.


Django Unchained, two for you. Life of Pi? Four for you, Life of Pi. You go, Life of Pi. Jennifer Lawrence? Do we have a Jennifer Lawrence here? Here you go, one for you… and none for The Hobbit‘s dwarf beards, byeeee!

As you may have heard, the Oscars were last night, and some painfully unfunny sexist jokes from host Seth MacFarlane aside (Jessica Chastain‘s Zero Dark Thirty character chasing down Bin Laden as a metaphor for women not being able to let things go? That’s not even a good joke!), I quite enjoyed it. Better than the blah-fest that was last year anyways.

Plus, there were surprise appearances by William Shatner and Michelle Obama, which… I mean, that’s a somewhat random pair of cameos, but yay! ‘Twas good. And also somewhat emblematic of the show as a whole. (Here, have some Barbra Streisand. Now some Jaws theme. And a random—yet awesome—The Sound of Music joke! And now let’s just let Jack Nicholson do his thing for a while.)

And Adele, Shirley Bassey, and Jennifer Hudson killed their respective musical numbers. Killed them dead. I started watching Les Mis’ big performance feeling sorry for them that they had to go after Hudson. And then Russell Crowe came onstage and I was just wincing.

But how about those winners? Here, have a list (with a bit of added editorializing by myself because I can’t resist, I’m sorry):

Best Picture: Argo
Best Director: Ang Lee, Life of Pi
Best Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis (Meryl Streep‘s biggest fan, judging by  his acceptance speech), Lincoln
Best Actress: Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook. I love you, Jennifer, but… look, this might be a controversial thing to say, but there’s no way her performance was the best from this lot. I’m sorry. But I’m taking a stand here. Ideally I wanted Quvenzhané Wallis, though that was never going to happen. I thought Jessica Chastain had a chance at pulling off the upset, though. Oh well.
Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained
Best Supporting Actress: Anne Hathaway, Les Misérables
Best Original Screenplay: Django Unchained
Best Adapted Screenplay: Zero Dark Thirty
Best Cinematography: Life of Pi
Best Costume Design: Anna Karenina (the lavish period drama won Best Costume Design? What?!)
Best Sound Mixing: Les Misérables
Best Sound Editing: A tie between Skyfall and Zero Dark Thirty. The sound editing category has never been so dramatic.
Best Editing: Argo
Best Visual Effects: Life of Pi (Sorry you didn’t get an Oscar, Avengers, but Pi deserved this one)
Best Makeup and Hairstyling: Les Misérables. No Oscar win for The Hobbit‘s dwarf beards/dwarf braids/prosthetics/everything?! I protest!
Best Song: Skyfall, Adele.
Best Score: Life of Pi
Best Short Film, Animated: Paperman
Best Short Film, Live Action: Curfew. This was an adorable acceptance speech.
Best Documentary Short: Inocente
Best Documentary, Feature: Searching for Sugar Man
Best Foreign Language Film: Amour
Best Animated Film: Brave (I liked it, but I’d have preferred ParaNorman and predicted Wreck-It Ralph. Oh well, what can you do. We got a kilt on the Oscar stage. Brenda Chapman won an Oscar. It’s all good.)
Best Production Design: Lincoln

For a grand total of nine female winners, if you’re curious.

What did you think of the winners? No big surprises, save maybe Christoph Waltz winning for Django. Everyone at the Academy Awards loved Ben Affleck except the Academy themselves. I’d have preferred a Beasts of the Southern Wild win, but that was never going to happen.

And the countdown until Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are announced as next year’s hosts begins…now. Make it happen, Academy.

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  • Anonymous

    Is it me or is Pixar winning the Best Animated Film award purely by default now?

  • Anonymous

    I was already annoyed at Shatner because of his hissy fit about Pluto’s new moons is going to break the moon naming conventions, participating in the most tedious bit of the night, that then got misrepresented to everyone who wasn’t watching and made tumblr and facebook virtually unusable for the rest of the night…
    I’m just saying maybe he should take a vacation for a couple months

  • http://twitter.com/Rmjonesc13 Rebekah M. Jones

    No lie- I was pissed Wreck it Ralph didn’t get it. As someone who saw both movies, was looking forward to Brave a hella more, and is a ardent feminist? Wreck-it-Ralph was ROBBED.

  • Anonymous

    Quite frankly, though I really loved Brave, I think Wreck It Ralph deserved the win. Brave had better animation tech, but Ralph had a better executed story (the part with the car in the middle -ouch!!), and some really good surprises.

    Brave could maybe have been better if the original vision, which was more focused on the Mother-Daughter relationship, had been allowed to play out.
    As it is I felt they got the prize because they were Pixar, which wasn’t fair.

  • Anonymous

    Disappointed Wallis didn’t win. 9 years old and she got made the butt of a tasteless joke by the host and then gets called the C-word. And she didn’t even get her Oscar. That sucks.

  • Anonymous

    I was honestly rooting for Paranorman. I mean how disheartening must it be for up and coming animators knowing that their film will never have a chance purely because it’s up against the Pixar brand? Slap that logo on any of the other films and I bet you they would have won.

  • Anonymous

    Amen. That’s pretty much how I feel about it.

  • Carmen Sandiego

    Quevenzhane was robbed. Jennifer was awesome, but she deserved that award for “Winter’s Bone” a few years back, not for “Silver Linings” which she was great in but just wasn’t a very good movie because the ending undermined everything interesting and well-done about the rest of it.

  • Adam R. Charpentier

    Glad she didn’t win. It would have made a mockery of the other nominees.

  • Adam R. Charpentier

    Agreed. Wreck-It Ralph was more mature, clever, visually appealing, and progressive.

  • Adam R. Charpentier

    Though I was rooting for Wreck-It Ralph, ParaNorman was a close second…the themes were fairly mature, the story was fairly progressive, and I was stunned by a great deal of the stop-motion. Too bad there’s a Disney around.

  • Adam R. Charpentier

    I disagree with you about the ending…I didn’t see it as a happily ever after (if that’s your gripe) and can’t imagine those characters going on with their lives smoothly. Things are going to be hard…always…but at least they’re not alone. Seemed to fit the romantic feel of the movie.

    Like I said higher above, so glad that the little kid didn’t win…it undermines all the work and years of effort the rest put in.

  • Adam R. Charpentier

    I’m hoping the original Brave script falls out of a briefcase somewhere to see if you’re right…we all had such high expectations for that flick.

  • Anonymous

    I missed the Oscars last year, but were Fey and Poehler that good to want them back already?

  • Rebecca Pahle

    They hosted the Golden Globes earlier this year. Haven’t ever hosted the Oscars (yet). And yes, they were very good.

  • Rebecca Pahle

    I agree about the Silver Linings Playbook ending. At a certain point the movie just disregarded all the interesting things they’d been saying about mental illness and switched to standard, boring rom-com mode.

  • Brian

    Danny Pudi and Donald Glover for next year’s hosts.

  • Rebecca Pahle

    Couldn’t disagree more about Wallis. Ideally (and this would never be the case, but IDEALLY) the Best Actress Oscar should go to the actress with the best performance. How much “effort” they did or didn’t put into it is irrelevant.

  • Adam R. Charpentier

    Well, that’s like your opinion, Iron Man.

  • Lucas Picador

    Of all the things Django had going for it, Waltz’s performance was… well, not that it wasn’t good, but it was pretty much his same schtick from Inglorious Basterds. He already got an Oscar for that performance.

    Prediction: He’s going to be the new (mid-to-late-career) Al Pacino. Same performance, every time. Keeps getting accolades. Rides that to retirement.

  • Lady Viridis

    Yeah, I’m really annoyed that Brave was given the Oscar, seemingly by default. It wasn’t a bad movie, but having seen it twice now, my continuing thought is…. why bears? It made for some funny animation, but it made the movie feel like a rehash of Brother Bear, which took away some of the appeal for me.

    Wreck it Ralph was much better story-wise and had some real gut-punching emotional moments (the cart moment, and Ralph’s repeat of the bad guy motto at the end). I think ParaNorman was even better than WIR, story-wise, and their technical feats were amazing, but… well, it seems like the Academy kind of hates stop-motion. :/ It’s really too bad, because Laika is doing some amazing work in that medium, really pushing the boundaries of the technique.

  • Anonymous

    Agreed about Winter’s Bone. The Academy has a history of giving awards to people “retroactively,” though. One of Denzel Washington’s Best Actor awards was given as an apology for not giving him one for Malcolm X. This breakdown of one Academy member’s votes is very interesting, and I think typical of the insanely unprofessional way that the Academy decides who gets awards: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/race/oscar-voters-brutally-honest-ballot-422546

  • Anonymous

    Agreed. It’s insane to nominate little kids for professional awards. Not only is it insulting to adult professionals who have spent years working on their craft, it’s a curse for a child actor. The only child actor in recent years to overcome that curse is Anna Paquin (who, although she’s grown into a competent actress, should not have been nominated for The Piano.)

  • Amanda W

    Seriously? Brave beat Wreck-It Ralph? Whoever votes for these awards is seriously out of touch. As someone who appreciates both videogames AND Scottish princesses, I have to say Wreck-It Ralph was the better film, hands-down; it’s a no-brainer.

  • http://www.aeryllou.tumblr.com/ Aeryl

    I felt the same way about Lawrence, and the feeling I get is not that she was awarded on the basis of this one performance, but for all of them. Which is not the way it is supposed to work, but that’s how I feel it happened.

  • http://www.facebook.com/laura.truxillo Laura Truxillo

    Okay, I wasn’t even watching anymore at that point, but what was MacFarlane’s tasteless joke this time? (And did he really call a 9 year old that?)

  • http://www.facebook.com/laura.truxillo Laura Truxillo

    Same here. ParaNorman pushed so much of what we take for granted in kids movies, and presented mature, relevant themes without balking or trying to sugarcoat them (it wasn’t just “forgiveness is nice” it was “you need to be able to forgive people, even when it’s hard, even when they don’t apologize, for your own peace of mind.” Plus, y’know, the whole fear=hatred=bad).

    It was a phenomenal movie and it did so poorly in the box office. It would have been wonderful to see it get the Oscar if only to encourage more movies like ParaNorman to be made.

  • Anonymous

    It’s not like they’ll be doing anything.

  • http://www.thenerdybird.com/ Jill Pantozzi

    No, the Onion called her the c-word on their Twitter account. McFarlane made a joke about her dating George Clooney in 16 years.

  • Anonymous

    They likely did it as an apology for Winter’s Bone. Same way Argo was definitely not the best picture, but Ben Affleck wasn’t nominated for Director… it’s all politics.

    I was really hoping for Emmanuelle Riva to get best actress. Everyone else in the category is an up-and-comer, but she’s been in the business for fifty years and this was pretty much her only chance at an Oscar. :( Oldest ever nominee! Ah well, Amour was still excellent.

  • Rebecca Pahle

    WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SAY THAT?!

  • Anonymous

    Ahem. About being too old for George Clooney in 16 years.
    There’s…. a difference. /understatement

  • Anonymous

    What do you mean?

  • Rebecca Pahle

    They’ve been doing that for decades. Even Jimmy Stewart said he thought his Oscar win for The Philadelphia Story was an apology win of sorts for Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.

    For all that the Oscars present themselves as some srs bsns arbiter of quality film, they’re meaningless. (As is awards season in general, for the most part.) You’ve just gotta try and have fun with ‘em.

  • Anonymous

    But in the case of child actors, I think the performance often has less to do with the skill of the child actor, and more to do with the skill of the director and editor. Which is also true of many adult performances, which is why I think instead of awards for the previous year, they should just give out awards to people who have a done a bunch of good work over a certain period of their career. Like, “hey, your acting as been stellar for the last few years – here’s an award.” That would make more sense than giving them out for individual performances.

  • Anonymous

    Yup. Given their meaninglessness, however, it seems problematic that they have a real effect on people’s careers. They have a real, and awful, effect on the kind of movies that get put out.

  • Rebecca Pahle

    Ugh, I know, I hate that. Oscar bait movies bug me. I guess all we, as the consumers, can really do is make an effort to spend money on the types of films we want to see more of, especially if those are indie films that need every dollar.

    Unfortunately, not everyone lives in an area where they have access to non-Hollywood fare. The movie industry’s mighty messed up, huh?

  • Adam R. Charpentier

    Hee!

  • Adam R. Charpentier

    Where did you expect the story to go? They can’t exactly “solve” mental illness, so they’ve got to live with it…it’s just a measure of degrees how you do that. The movie ended with an uplifting note…he’s always going to be that way…he carries a damaged family and screwed up friends…and she hasn’t even begun to recover from her loss or obvious depression…but at least neither of them will be trying to handle things alone.

  • Adam R. Charpentier

    If it was all politics, wouldn’t you think they’d have given it to Riva?

  • Anonymous

    For a while, in the early-ish days of the internets, everyone was talking about how awesomely the internet would transform the movie industry, since small, independent films could be seen widely and not just the films of those who have successfully licked the testicles of Harvey Weinstein. What happened?

  • Rebecca Pahle

    Well, to be fair, digital distribution is coming along, albeit slowly. The Internet has only really been video-friendly for a short number of years, relatively speaking, and the infrastructure for online distribution has been around for a shorter period than that. So maaaybe it’s coming along. Slowly.

    But yeah, the Weinstein thing pisses me off. I refuse to think of a movie with A-list actors that had twice its budget over again spent on marketing as an “indie” film, even though it may be technically true. So much of the “indie” stuff that Weinstein champions is just Oscar bait (looking at you, The King’s Speech). But does he buy it because it’s Oscar bait or is it Oscar bait because he gets his paws on it? Questions, questions…

  • Anonymous

    Or it’s Weinstein bait . . . .

  • Anonymous

    No, I really wouldn’t. She’s not famous enough. Getting nominated at all is the nod there.

  • Adam R. Charpentier

    Good point, but still too cynical for my taste. I think Jennifer Lawrence did well and I’ve heard good things about Argo. It must be better than the snooze-fest that was Lincoln.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dessa-Brewington/721495970 Dessa Brewington

    Feymy (Fey + Amy?) must happen. God yes.

  • Anonymous

    Not trying to be cynical, really. It’s an awards show, it’s subjective, it’ll be influenced by the people running it. Getting an academy award doesn’t mean someone was objectively the best, and never has, but it’s nice to see them get some acknowledgement.

    Argo was good, if you like movies about movies.

  • http://twitter.com/Rmjonesc13 Rebekah M. Jones

    Bears are HUGE in celtic mythology. Like, you know how Lions are “king of the jungle”? Bears are kings of the forest in most Celtic/Britain folktales where they appear. So it makes sense that royalty = bears in the tale of Brave.

    Don’t get me wrong, I could complain about other choices of the story, but that part really made sense.

  • http://twitter.com/diefrankenmaus Kate

    An honest question: How does naming Pluto’s moon “Vulcan” buck the conventions? I mean, Vulcan’s not just related to Trek, it’s also the name of the Roman god of fire and patron of smiths.

  • http://melancholywise.tumblr.com/ Sophie

    It’s hard to find showings of the movies even if you know about them. The nearest indie cinema to me is over an hour away. I know about these films and I want to see them, but my local cinemas just show the big Hollywood fare.

  • Anonymous

    the names of planet’s moons have conventions as well, all of Jupiter’s moons are named after his lovers, all of Saturn’s are named after titans and giants, all of Uranus’s moons are named after Fairies, all of Neptune’s moons are named after sea deities, and Pluto’s moons are named after creatures of the Underworld (Charon the boatman, Nix [night], and Hydra which is, well, named after Hydras at least one of which was created from the bones of fallen warriors) While Vulcan is in charge of volcanoes, he is not an Underworld figure, and, as one of the twelve Olympic gods he should at least get a planet. (Also Minerva, Juno, Ceres, Diana, Vesta and Baccus)

  • Anonymous
  • http://www.facebook.com/laura.truxillo Laura Truxillo

    Oh, is THAT the thing they deleted, admitted was in poor taste, an apologized for? (I only saw the aftermath.)

    If that’s the case, they’re still ahead of MacFarlane. And they weren’t actually hosting.

  • http://twitter.com/diefrankenmaus Kate

    Oh! Cool! I never knew that. I was pulling for Cerberus simply because he’s my favorite mythological dog creature.

  • Anonymous

    “McFarlane made a joke about her dating George Clooney in 16 years.
    “In 16 years she’ll be too old for George Clooney.”
    See the difference?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andreia-Augusto/100003102682236 Andreia Augusto

    Yes please Academy make it happen! Go Tina Fey and Amy Poehler! ;D

  • Rebecca Pahle

    I’m lucky enough to live in a major movie market now, but when I lived in NC there was one indie movie theater, approx. 45 minutes away, that had two screens and kept the same two movies on them for weeks at a time. And I lived just outside of the state’s biggest city! I hate that so many people can’t see indie movies even if they want to without waiting months for the DVD release.

  • Anonymous

    No, I don’t see it. It’s still a cheap shot at a little girl, no matter how you frame the “joke”.

  • Anonymous

    Because one way it’s a cheap shot that sexualizes a little girl inappropriately.
    And the other way it’s a cheap shot that sexualizes a little girl inappropriately and sounds an awful lot like you’re calling George Clooney a pedophile.
    (which only adds to the inappropriate sexualizing)
    To be clear, I’m not trying to clean up what he said–I’m saying it’s worse the way he said it.

  • Anonymous

    I think both are equally wrong, but that’s where we differ.