comScore
  1. Mediaite
  2. Gossip Cop
  3. Geekosystem
  4. Styleite
  5. SportsGrid
  6. The Mary Sue
  7. The Maude
  8. The Braiser

What's with the name?

Allow us to explain.

Power Grid

10 Good Guys Who Are Major-League Jerks


Allow Us to Explain

Allow Us to Explain

Sometimes good guys are actually “good” guys. They treat people well, they help old ladies across the street, their good intentions are matched by their positive (not necessarily chipper or anything, but at least nice) personality.

And sometimes good guys are just jerks.

I think of them as the anti-Han Solo. Until he shows up at the end of A New Hope to save Luke’s bacon, Han was a morally ambiguous guy who helped Luke & co. for money. Up to that point, he hadn’t yet attained his good guy status—but you knew he would. He was a smuggler with a heart of gold, and despite initially appearing callous and opportunistic, there was no doubt he’d eventually come through.

The ten people on this list—well, five people, one group, two witches, one mermaid, and one rabbit—are always firmly on the “protagonist” side of their respective source material, but personality-wise, they can be major jerks. Sometimes it’s intentional (Sherlock), sometimes it’s not (Ferris Bueller). Sometimes it makes them better as characters (the Inception team), sometimes it doesn’t (Glinda the Good Witch).

Regardless, they’re not your typical protagonists. As morally good as they may be… if you knew them, you would hate them.

Are you following The Mary Sue on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, & Google +?


[View All on One Page]

Are you following The Mary Sue on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, & Google +?

TAGS: | | | | | | | | | |


  • Anonymous

    Catelyn and Cersei are two sides of the same coin, both making wrong headed and self centered decisions for the sake of their children.
    I think its bloody brilliant writing, on the part of Martin, in taking this idea that motherhood is this thing that dominates and defines a woman’s life, and showing us all the fucked up things that happen because of it.

    FFC Spoilers

    I was fascinated reading Cersei(and I don’t think its any coincidence that we pick up Cersei as a POV after we lose Cat), because for all her belief that she is just as competent and capable as a man, you are truly shown how her ignorance of statecraft has hampered her.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anna-Sophia-May/100000092990769 Anna Sophia May

    In non-Disney actual fairy tale versions of Beauty and the beast ( Belinda and the Monster, Beauty, the old oral traditions) the Enchantress was NOT a good guy. She was a jerk and not painted like she was trying to help or teach Beast a lesson, but doing it for spite. I don’t know if she belongs on this list, because I for one, never saw her as a good guy. Not in the oral tradition, not in older non disney versions, and not in the disney version either.

  • http://www.lifeofcuriosity.com Cara

    Adding to the cartoon theme (with Bugs), Jerry the mouse is a total jerk! As is Tweety bird. They both spend all their time trying to kill, maim, or get Tom and Sylvester in trouble. I hadn’t noticed this until I was an adult and saw some cartoons again.

  • http://twitter.com/chemrebel N J Mix

    Not an insignificant amount of these characters’ behavior can be explained by the fact that they are “young and stupid.” And then, the majority of those who aren’t young and stupid are tormenting those who are young and stupid.

    Also, no Captain Hammer? MS, I am dissapoint. But I like you listing Bugs on the list, so things evens out.

  • http://twitter.com/giualonso Giu Alonso

    You’ll like this article, look: http://girlslikegiants.wordpress.com/2012/10/09/corrupting-motherhood-the-women-of-westeros/
    (I don’t know what FFC means, but I has spoilers, so be careful!) :)

  • Anonymous

    I really started to hate Catelyn’s chapters in Song of Ice and Fire — she was the WORST for thinking “I told you so.” constantly.

    It’s weird to look back at Disney movies and realize how young the protags are supposed to be. Ariel is 16, the beast is 20?! I always felt like the Beast was up in that castle for at least a decade, becoming more isolated and beastly, but with that timeline it had to be what, maybe 5 years? And no one around remembers there was a prince and a huge castle and all these servants that disappeared just 5 years ago (unless that was an unmentioned part of the curse)?

  • http://www.facebook.com/tristan.zimmerman1 Tristan Zimmerman

    Thank you for saying far better than I’ve ever been able to why I dislike Cat so damned much.

  • Anonymous

    C’mon, let’s be fair. Elmer Fudd is actively trying to KILL BUGS AND EAT HIM.

  • Anna

    Yes, but Cumberbatch is such a sexy beast…..

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1208921 Nikki Lincoln

    Wouldn’t any Sherlock Holmes qualify? I’m not sure why it was limited to Sherlock.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1208921 Nikki Lincoln

    Seriously! Captain Hammer should have led this list!

  • Terence Ng

    Xavier’s been a jerk since X3 (and longer than that in the comics, if Kitty Pryde is to be believed). Seriously. The dude sends teenagers out to fight his war, is sexually obsessed with his first female student to the point that all his rage, lust, and frustration, including toward Jean, manifests into a major villain who kills people and results in the deaths of all the world’s heroes, and he purposefully abused an emerging AI for no good reason. Dude’s a sociopath. I’m glad he’s dead.

    As for Ariel, yeah, that’s true. But she does understand the danger she put everyone in as it was happening. She tells Triton she’s sorry and that she didn’t know what Ursula was up to. But when Triton makes the counter offer, she knows just what kind of sacrifice he’s made and how much danger they’re all in.

  • Rebecca Pahle

    Only because the BBC Sherlock is really the only one I’m familiar with. Didn’t want to project onto the others and run the risk of inaccuracy.

  • http://twitter.com/Riviare Riviera

    I disagree with the enchantress and Ariel, but the rest are really good arguments!

  • http://twitter.com/BrightBlueInk Inky

    Ugh, Jerry bothered me so much as a kid I could barely enjoy the cartoons. Every now and then Tom actually instigates the fight, but it feels like in most of the cartoons Jerry is either actively stealing first, or in some cases actually attacks Tom while he’s doing nothing but sleeping!

  • Rebecca Pahle

    I can’t believe I left Captain Hammer out! That’s the whole point of of his character! Shame on me for that egregious oversight.

  • http://twitter.com/BrightBlueInk Inky

    Thank you for putting Ariel on the list. I could never get into The Little Mermaid as a kid because of how much I felt like Ariel was messing up everything.

    I’m not sure if the “21st year” bit refers to the Beast’s age or how long he’s been cursed. I always got the feeling that it was referring to the length of the curse and everyone’s age was frozen by it, if only because if it was short enough that Chip could be around and aging with the curse, you’d think the villagers would still remember the castle and the Prince and wonder what’d happened to him…

  • Anna

    Don’t worry, Johnny Lee Miller’s Sherlock is just as big a jerk.

  • Anonymous

    This is some seriously awesome writing. Thanks, Rebecca!

  • John Wao

    Well of everyone on that list at least Bugs admits it: “Gee ain’t I a stinker…”

  • http://twitter.com/nellydreadful Nelly Dreadful

    It WAS ten years. Remember the lyrics of “Be Our Guest?”

    “TEN YEARS we’ve been rusting; needing so much more than dusting…”

    Which means the beast was cursed when he was… eleven.

    ELEVEN.

    JEEZE. ENCHANTRESS. LADY. NOT COOL.

    …It also means Chip was either a newborn when the curse hit or, (if he was the same age as his voice actor, nine) somehow born AFTER the curse hit, which, just, I can’t, I DON’T WANT TO KNOW.

  • Anonymous

    Disney needs better continuity people!

  • Anonymous

    Feast For Crows

  • Rebecca Pahle

    Yeah, but he’s never going to be successful. Bugs knows that. He’s just messing with him.

  • Rebecca Pahle

    I recently rewatched the Disney intro, and she definitely came off as as the righteous one in the cursing-the-beast scenario. At least I thought so. I was surprised, because if you’d asked me before I would have said I remembered her being demonized.

  • Rebecca Pahle

    Kind of late by that point, no? Ursula’s cookie-cutter-bad-guy enough that Ariel should have at least stopped to ask herself what she was getting out of the deal. Her “I just like helping people!” argument is about as believable as Kevin Costner’s British accent in Robin Hood.

  • Rebecca Pahle

    That’s horrible! Of course he didn’t let the Enchantress in—he was eleven! His parents weren’t home—stranger danger!

    He probably didn’t even HAVE parents to teach to him to be not-rude to old ladies.

  • Terence Ng

    True, on its lateness, but actually, I sometimes think of The Little Mermaid (Disney version) as a light allegory for comprehensive health service provision. Ariel, as the seeker, finds her search for comprehensive services limited (or completely barred) by the institution’s (Triton’s) prejudices and authority. With no safe options (the relatively painless and simple use of trident magic), the seeker is forced to look outside of the institution for services that are less regulated, more risky, higher in price, and inherently more dangerous to the seeker (Ursula’s painful magic, unfair deal, price for service, and ultimate consequence provided that Ariel fail to meet her end of the bargain). If harm befalls the seeker, it is ultimately due to the institution’s refusal to provide services that are within its power because of institutional prejudice.

  • Terence Ng

    Wow, you totally nailed it with that continuity point. Damn. ELEVEN… Apparently one of the sequels also reveals that the Enchantress came to the castle on Christmas Day, Turned into a monster at age 11 on Christmas Day. Damn…

    But that doesn’t make sense, considering that Chip can’t be older than 10. A disturbing look into the reproductive abilities of Mrs. Potts as a living teapot. She also refers to the other cups as his brothers and sisters…0.0

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Benjamin-J-English/572078999 Benjamin J. English

    … Ummm, they were moray eels. Ursula had moray eels as pets.

  • Anonymous

    Hey, even idiots get lucky occasionally . . . .

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, but isn’t her health claim a little frivolous? I mean would having legs really improve her quality of life? Life is much better down where it’s wetter!

  • Anonymous

    Elmer did manage to kill Bugs one time. In “What’s Opera, Doc?”

  • robotdinosaur

    I agree with every choice here except Catelyn.
    I’m surprised the Doctor didn’t get a shoutout given that every regeneration has been King of the Dicks at some point or another.

  • http://twitter.com/FroWillis Sarah

    Same here! I was never a fan of Ariel, but I did like Ursula.

  • Anonymous

    I’m SO GLAD I’m not the only one who dislikes Catelyn Stark. I wanted to like her so badly in Game of Thrones, but as soon as I started reading the books she really put me off. I dislike her chapters as much as I dislike Theon’s, which is saying a lot. From the first series of GoT I had no idea I would come to like Cersei better… but I do.

    Part of it may also be that I have a toxic evil stepmother, but what can you do.

  • Anonymous

    I am now far more fascinating by teapot reproduction than I could ever have imagined. Where is the fanfic for this??

  • Rebecca Pahle

    Wasn’t he revealed to have been faking it at the end? As Elmer was carrying him away?

  • Anonymous

    “Well, what did you expect in an opera? A happy ending?”

  • Rebecca Pahle

    I’m sure it’s out there. What I’m wondering is how Chip grew, physically, in those years? Did he start out as a doll-sized teacup and would have eventually, had the curse not be lifted, evolved into a ceramic beer stein or something?

    We might be overthinking this.

  • Rebecca Pahle

    Whoops. Thanks for the heads up. It’s edited.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anna-Sophia-May/100000092990769 Anna Sophia May

    It’s never really adressed. I think she was more neutral in the Disney version than in the oral traditions( where she is very much the antagonist, or at least fills the role of antagonist) but I wouldn’t classify her as a good guy in it. She was just sort of there for 30 seconds and then…meh, gone, ok, moving on to the pretty music, you know?

  • Anonymous

    He says what Monkey_pants quotes above. But In the context of the narrative Elmer wins.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anna-Sophia-May/100000092990769 Anna Sophia May

    I always went with ” the rose would bloom for 21 years” myself. in most of the oral traditions, it’s been between 40-100 years and he’s not even a prince in some of them. I love Disney and all, but their version is VERY unlike the original oral traditions and early written versions- like the Italian Belinda and the Monster.

    Also, could be that part of the curse made everyone forget about him. or he might have been a reclusive younger son, perhaps illegitimate, or some such. Or the villagers could all be really, really stupid. Hmm. fun to think about.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anna-Sophia-May/100000092990769 Anna Sophia May

    in the broadway musical, they amended it to ” many years” I always got the feeling that Belle’s dad wasn’t the first, or that it had only been in the last ten years that everyone had really given up and stopped keeping the castle dusted and cleaned and that was why it was brought up.

  • http://twitter.com/XandraDust Alexis the Unicorn

    The worst part about the whole Enchantress deal is that if you do the math, you’ll find that dear Beastie was only TEN YEARS OLD when this happened. Now, can anyone think of someone who wasn’t a brat at that age? No. Good. Because they don’t exist. Ten is the age when we are the most selfish in our lives. Add that to the fact that he’s a Prince, with no evident parental supervision, save for servants who catered his every whim, yeah, he’s gonna be spoiled rotten. There’s just no way to save that situation.

    I can’t say I agree with Ariel though, because what she did I can’t see as wrong or jerk-like. Sure, she was a bit blind to Ursula’s plot, but when you obsess about something your entire life (the human world, Eric’s only the bonus/ Pushing factor) and you are offered up possibly your only chance to actually experience this amazing wonder that seems to be kept hidden from you your entire life, yeah, your going to go. Because THAT is what we call the chance of a life time. The chance that most of us only dream about. And at that point, the risks don’t matter, because it’s just that important.

  • Rebecca Pahle

    They’d have to be very stupid indeed to forget about not only him and the castle out in the woods, but all the servants, who probably had families in the village.

    I always wondered where his family was—if he was a prince, then the King and Queen would still be alive, so where are they? Why is he alone in the house with his staff? So I like your idea of him being a younger son, but one already grown when the curse hits. Mail was notoriously unreliable back then; maybe his family thought all his letters for 10/21 years had just been lost. :)

  • Taste_is_Sweet

    A list of good-guy jerks and you didn’t include Rodney McKay of Stargate: Atlantis? He’s like Sherlock, only maybe worse because Sherlock doesn’t care how he comes across, and McKay has a ‘hit-back-first’ personality that makes a first meeting as fun as necking with a porcupine. (Of course the character is awesome once you get beyond the exterior, but not many people are willing to do that.)

    Then again, the main character and truly ‘heroic’ hero of the series–John Sheppard–is actually pretty much a jerk too. He’s just better at pulling off the Ferris Bewler-esque veneer of cool.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anna-Sophia-May/100000092990769 Anna Sophia May

    Or decided to quietly disown him. I can see it now.
    “Dear, come read this. He think’s he’s been cursed!”
    “Yes, Cursed with terrible handwriting, it looks like a wolf wrote it!”
    “Oh, hush. but look, he’s saying Mrs. Potts has been turned into a teapot! I think he’s quite gone mad!”

  • Rebecca Pahle

    I think the risks matter. And not going to Ursula doesn’t mean giving up her dream. Her father had the power to change her into a human all along, and I can see how she’d think he never would—but c’mon. She’s the teenage daughter, he’s the overprotective dad, they’d just had a massive fight, emotions were running high. Not exactly the time to run off and ask your dad’s enemy to help. It would’ve taken a while, but she might have been able to talk him around.

    And while we’re overanalyzing Disney :)… I think of all the people on this list she’s the best, because her action edged more toward “impulsive” than “morally wrong”—but when you’re the king’s favorite daughter and he’d do anything (including giving up his kindgom) to protect you, you owe it to more than just yourself to think such a massive decision through.

  • Rebecca Pahle

    Good to know that doesn’t change. :)

  • http://twitter.com/BrightBlueInk Inky

    Oh, I like the idea that part of the curse was that the townspeople forgot him! It makes a lot of sense–particularly since it would completely take away the title of “prince” from him. Difficult to rule the townsfolk if they don’t even remember you were ever there…

  • http://twitter.com/BrightBlueInk Inky

    Ursula is cool! A great villain with an awesome villain song. I pretty much watch the movie for her, the music and Jodi Benson (because despite not liking Ariel I still quite like her voice actor!)

  • http://twitter.com/BrightBlueInk Inky

    I want to say that they actually address the “ten years” line in the DVD commentary and admit that the timeline doesn’t add up very well…but it’s been a while since I watched the commentary, so I might be making that up.

  • Anonymous
  • http://www.facebook.com/laura.truxillo Laura Truxillo

    I think the point of the list was more jerkwad protagonists (“Good guy” is such a weak term). And Captain Hammer may be the “hero” in that universe, but he’s the antagonist in the story.

  • http://www.facebook.com/laura.truxillo Laura Truxillo

    I think the point of the list was more jerkwad protagonists (“Good guy” is such a weak term). And Captain Hammer may be the “hero” in that universe, but he’s the antagonist in the story.

  • http://www.facebook.com/laura.truxillo Laura Truxillo

    My theory has always been that the bookseller is the Enchantress in disguise, keeping an eye on things and possibly grooming someone to come in and save the Beast.

    It’s pretty much the only way a bookseller in that time and place who is happy to just GIVE books away to probably the only person in town who reads for pleasure makes any sense.

  • http://www.facebook.com/laura.truxillo Laura Truxillo

    Yeah, I feel like maybe I could like Catelyn (I hate what she does to Tyrion, and hey, surprise, it winds up more or less directly getting Ned killed, but I can understand her trying to take some kind of power), but her scene with Jon in Bran’s bedroom just let me know, very plainly, that I would hate her. Apparently, I can find my way around to liking a guy who screws his sister and throws an eight-year-old off a tower, I can even be fascinated with the same incestuous sister who causes so much grief and chaos… but I can’t stand a woman who tells a boy who is LEAVING FOREVER that he has no right to see his POSSIBLY DYING BROTHER before he goes.

    Haaatttteee…

  • http://www.facebook.com/laura.truxillo Laura Truxillo

    Same here. It was a rare thing that I could get through Tom and Jerry. Even now, I know Chuck Jones is a comedic master, and that his set-ups and pay-offs are hilarious and flawlessly executed in a purely physical sense…but I can’t get past that sense of unfairness.

  • Anonymous

    Oh I’m glad I’m not the only one who had a hard time sitting through the antagonistic relationships in older cartoons such as those Cara mentioned as a kid. Empathy meter would always go off too much for me to really enjoy most episodes. It’s not so bad when you watch them as an adult though.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anna-Sophia-May/100000092990769 Anna Sophia May

    OOOH, I like that theory. I’m going to believe that now, that’s pretty cool

  • Anonymous

    ARIEL! Thank god someone brought up Ariel. No-one I know seems to realize how much of a self-centered jerk she is, so thank you for confirming that I’m not crazy (in that regard).

  • Terence Ng

    But finds, ultimately, that achieving his goal of killing Bugs was more than he could bear.

  • Terence Ng

    Touche. But only because Sebastian, a privileged crab, has six legs. Poor Ariel has none. Sebastian would never understand that mermaids are severely limited by their fish tails. Flipping your fins, you don’t get too far. Indeed, legs are required for jumping, dancing, and strolling along down a “street”, all things Sebastian does without self-reflection during his musical number.

  • Terence Ng

    And how did he nurse to grow? By conservation of matter, he has to be consuming something. Did Mrs. Potts ask the cream holder to be her child’s nursing surrogate?

    Also, I’m kind of interested in seeing the reactionary horror of realizing one has been transformed into a candelabra, feather duster, desk clock, wardrobe, or teapot…

  • Terence Ng

    But, you can argue that the situation WAS saved, because he ended up being a good person…after 10 years as a beast.

  • professional widow

    Wow, I didn’t expect to see “Cat is responsible for the whole war” bullshit on a (supposedly) feminist site. So thanks for that.

    I mean, it’s not like a major theme of her storyline is “if everyone had just listened to Cat, most of this bad shit wouldn’t've happened in the first place.” Nice reading comprehension there. *eyeroll*

  • http://www.facebook.com/rachaelsherwood Rachael Anne Sherwood

    Who in A Song of Ice and Fire is aware of their own flaws? Tyrion? Jaime? Hah. Hahahahah. I guess you missed the part where Jon Snow realizes that he had a freaking great life at Winterfell. All Catelyn did was bottle up her emotions for 15 years (living as she does in a patriarchal society where she cant even divorce a guy for doing what he did to her) and then let them slip in a moment of utter grief. How DARE she expect privileged people to not murder children after a huge flaw like that. How self righteous!!11

    The line about how everything she did got people killed is truly disappointing though. I don’t want to assume you can’t read, but my only other alternative conclusion is that you just like blaming chicks. Since this is supposed to be a feminist website I’d like to avoid that too, but I’m running out of reasons as to why you’d say such an obviously stupid thing. Is it because hyperbole is ~edgy~?

    Maybe you should go back and read the parts where Tywin Lannister’s invasion is clearly shown to be illegal terrorism and try blaming him for those deaths. Maybe you should go back and read the part where Rickard Karstark chose to kill the prisoners of war and try blaming him for those deaths. Maybe you should go back and read the part where the Red Wedding was in response to Robb’s actions and not hers. Maybe you should go back and read the part where she saved Brienne of Tarth’s life. Maybe you could note that part where she argues, with the only weapon allowed to a good woman in that society, the weapon of words, that they should not go to war because enough people have died. Hey, maybe you could recall that even Tyrion suspected that his father would be sending his troops up the kingsroad after Catelyn herself instead of invading the riverlands.

    Everything she did got people killed. Yeah, right. When Jaime Lannister tosses kids out of windows to protect his lover and their children, when Robb Stark insists on ordering scads of his own men to death because he wants to avenge his daddy, when Tyrion initiates the downfall of his house by shooting his father, that’s just people acting by the rules. When Catelyn does desperate things to save her innocent children after a lifetime of obeying men who don’t listen to her good advice, it’s self righteous superiority. Give me a break.

  • Ellery McQueen

    Because Sherlock is a huge jerk, where canon Holmes is not. In the original canon, Holmes is described as nice, kind, polite, courteous. To quote directly, he treats people with “with the easy courtesy for which he was remarkable”.

  • Ellery McQueen

    Great response. Their writeup on Cat really bothered me, and I couldn’t put my finger on why. You nailed it.

  • Anonymous

    You’re kidding me right? Catelyn gets Ned killed?

    Even CERSEI didn’t want Ned dead. The only one who got Ned killed was JOFFREY, the sociopath who decided to contravene the advice of everyone else (y’know, send Ned to the Wall) and execute him right on the steps of Baelor.

    Beyond that, Ned was the one who told Cersei, who he already suspected of KILLING THE PREVIOUS HAND FOR FINDING OUT HER SECRET that he…found out her secret.

    And Cersei is the one who chose to have Ned arrested, even though she was the guilty one.

    And the fact that you can “find your way around to liking a guy who screws his sister and throws an eight-year-old off a tower, …can even be fascinated with the same incestuous sister who causes so much grief and chaos” but you can’t find it in your heart to like a woman who says one cruel thing while her favorite son lies in a coma says a lot about you, really.

    I’d like to note that Jon, the recipient of the cruel comment, only thinks to himself that he’s never seen Catelyn cry before. At least HE can appreciate emotional devastation.

    (and he’s not leaving forever…please note that Benjen, a sworn brother as well, visits on occasion…and that should Bran survive, there would be theoretically nothing stopping him from visiting Jon)

  • roundabritt

    Excellent response. All I could think while reading the Cately portion was, Oh no! Not you too Mary Sue! These are tired arguments that are supported by neither the text nor the author.

  • Anonymous

    Yes, precisely.

  • Jamie Oliver

    What about Tony Stark?! Biggest. Jerk. Ever.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Juliana-Mota/675192753 Juliana Mota

    People criticizing Cat for arresting Tyrion are so funny because, really, what would you do in her place? Tyrion cornered her on purpose by uncovering her identity loud and clear, he did not expect she would have any tricks up her sleeve. Her arresting of Tyrion, if analyzed under HER circumstances, was actually a fantastic moment. Nobody could guess Tywin would order the massacre of the riverlands. Also, if you think TRADING JAIME was a worse political move than KEEPING HIM AS A PRISIONER then you seriously need to re-read the whole thing esp. the part in which we are told over and over that Jaime has no value as a hostage AT ALL, while Sansa (and Arya) are key political points in the whole war strategy.
    Actually, scratch that. Re-read the WHOLE BOOK because you clearly missed more than just a few points. Wasn’t this supposed to be a feminist website? I can’t see how Catelyn’s actions have a worse impact on his loved ones’ lives than, say, Ned’s, Jaime’s, Tyrion’s… actually, if the men around her had heeded her call and listened to her advice instead, much bloodshed and death could have been avoided.

  • Anonymous

    Ah, but Sebastian’s ability to go between the land and air has allowed him to observe that “up on the land they work all day, under the sun they slave away.” Obviously, the majority of Prince Eric’s subjects belong to an oppressed peasant class, whereas King Triton’s subjects have the leisure to stop in the middle of their day and perform an elaborate song-and-dance routine extolling the virtues of the underwater lifestyle. Sebastian is just trying to save her from a lifetime as a member of the legged proletariat.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=509458879 Charlotte Grubbs

    So that’s why I could never stand Ariel! All my friends were gaga over her, but I just thought she was a selfish piece of work.

    As for Ferris – that was rather the point, wasn’t it? I always thought that the secret irony of the film was that the people who couldn’t stand Ferris (Principal Rooney, his sister) all had perfectly understandably reasons not to, which is why we feel empathy for them even as they get repeatedly gaslighted. (It’s also been posited that Cameron is the real protagonist of the film, given that he’s the one that displays growth as a character, with Ferris just acting as the narrator.)

  • Anonymous

    Only in the show…I think it’s the coat. He looks terrible at awards shows and whatnot, imo, but I still get a little fluttery at Sherlock

  • Anonymous

    >Slow clap<
    That was utterly ridiculous. I love you.

  • http://wrongsirwrong.blogspot.com/ Magic Xylophone

    I’m with you, but… spoiler warning, please?

  • http://wrongsirwrong.blogspot.com/ Magic Xylophone

    Yeah, except Cersei is kind of full of shit in that regard. She tells Ned she does everything for her children, but if I had a nickel for every time she thinks about how much she wants to rule supreme over everyone and crush all who disobey her, I’d be rich as a Lannister.

  • http://wrongsirwrong.blogspot.com/ Magic Xylophone

    Ariel didn’t change herself for a man. She changed herself because she related to an alternative lifestyle didn’t match the body she was born with (cough cough allegory). Her love for Eric is just an extension of her desire to be human.

  • http://www.facebook.com/laura.truxillo Laura Truxillo

    Should Bran survive. Should Jon survive. While “forever” was a littler hyperbolic, it’s basically him going away on deployment and wanting to see his little brother, who, as far as anyone knows, IS DYING. It’s nice that Jon can “appreciate” Cat’s emotional devastation, but it doesn’t change the fact that what she does and what she says in that moment is horrifically cruel and terrible. Jon’s just so USED to Cat hating him that he isn’t particularly rocked by it.

    “…says a lot about you, really.”

    Seriously? Is this called for? I dislike a FICTIONAL CHARACTER. Blow me. There’s no call to get personal like that. Cersei is presented as villainous and gets her comeuppance. Jaime goes on a massive character arc where he learns from his flaws and changes for the better. Catelyn is not a villain. She’s just a very cold person to anyone who is not in her family. I won’t deny that she is an incredibly strong character and pulls together a lot of what Rob does, and she goes through hell to do it. I just don’t like her. I don’t have to. I can appreciate her as a character while still feeling like she’s the equivalent to nails on a chalkboard. DIFFERENT PEOPLE LIKE DIFFERENT KINDS OF CHARACTERS: NEWS AT ELEVEN!!!

    As for that “one cruel moment” (and really, you know that’s not her only cruel moment to Jon, just the cruelest)– it’s a personal button. I’m protective of my younger siblings, and moments like that in fiction strike a very personal chord with me. That, and the fact that everyone else from Ned to the kids, can treat Jon like family, but Cat can’t…it stings. I understand it, but that doesn’t mean I have to like her for it.

  • http://twitter.com/rainbowplethora Saz Rainbow

    Headcanon accepted.

  • socks

    wheres judge dredd?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Pizzo/5258457 Anthony Pizzo

    Actually, and this lends credence to your counter-argument, Elmer Fudd is a vegetarian, and only hunts for sports.

    Which means that he is actively trying to kill these animals, THAT HE HAS FULL CONVERSATIONS WITH, just for the fun of it.

    Elmer Fudd is no victim here, Elmer Fudd is a crazy person with a gun.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Pizzo/5258457 Anthony Pizzo

    *We* know Elmer will never be successful, unless Bugs Bunny struck a deal at Warner Brothers while he was hanging around Termite Terrace at the end of “Duck Amuck.”

    As far as the reality of Bugs’ world goes, Elmer could very well kill him at any time.

  • http://wrongsirwrong.blogspot.com/ Magic Xylophone

    Instead of just downvoting, could people explain why they disagree?

  • Anonymous

    She definitely feeels a lot of bitterness over the limitations that were put on her because of her sex. But the flip side of that, is that because of her sex, she was never taught to rule, how to compromise and deal with your enemies. She solves all her problems by trying to kill her enemies of fuck them, neither of which is a way to run a country. But, regardless of her competence her motivation is her children, all through Feast for Crows, it was all about Tommen.
    Cat, on the other hand, as the oldest with no definite heir to follow yet, was taught how to rule, and at the beginning of the books, is very clear minded about how things should move forward. It’s just the more danger she sees closing in on her family, the less clear minded she becomes.
    I think it is truly trying to point out the dangers of allowing yourself to be defined by a role you play in life, (this goes for the men too) instead of by your own identity.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jonathan-Schultz/100001957532060 Jonathan Schultz

    Omg how could you miss Tony Stark, Guy Gardner, Dr Gergoury House, and Henry Pym.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jonathan-Schultz/100001957532060 Jonathan Schultz

    no kidding I hate that mouse

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1208921 Nikki Lincoln

    I’ve read all of the books and canon Holmes is still a pretty big jerk. The Jeremy Brett Sherlock Holmes are almost exactly what’s in the books so that’s a good example for reference.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1208921 Nikki Lincoln

    Ah, fair enough. You should read them – they’re really fantastic. They’re also each pretty short so you can pick them up and put them down whenever you’re in the mood for a mystery.

  • http://wrongsirwrong.blogspot.com/ Magic Xylophone

    Interesting point. On the other hand, placing one’s own beliefs and feelings before the duties of one’s role didn’t work out so great for Rhaegar or Robb.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gordon-Campbell/100000824838396 Gordon Campbell

    FERRIS BUELLER
    “The character for whom this list was created, Ferris Bueller is a complete and utter tool. The kid who everyone loves—not because they know him all that well, but because he’s just so darn cool, y’know?—Ferris manipulates everyone, from the hated Principal Rooney to his sick best friend, so he can skip school (for the tenth time) and have his perfect day, which he’s only able to do because his rich parents bought him a computer he can use to hack into his attendance records.

    And while I get that Ferris’ intentions in bringing Cameron along for a day of freewheeling fun were good, at least in part, letting his best friend take 100 percent of the blame for destroying his father’s beloved Ferrari has always rubbed me the wrong way. But hey, Cameron wanted to, so who am I to argue? It’s just that for all that Ferris does throughout the course of the movie—for all his screwups, his rule-breaking, his unjustified sense of entitlement—he gets away absolutely scott-free with everything.

    To paraphrase Scott Pilgrim, if his life had a face, I would punch it.“

    He offered to take the blame assnugget.

    Did you even SEE the movie, dumbass ???

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=n3Rf4mJtD4k

    if your life had a face, I would punch it.

  • Jayn

    I’ve always gone for it meaning his age, both because of the wording of that phrase and a line from ‘Be Our Guest’ where Lumiere says, “Ten years we’ve been rusting…” Which plays nicely into the focus of this article, because it means that the prince was ELEVEN when this started. Who isn’t a jerk at that age?

  • Anonymous

    This bothered me in Inception a lot. Even Cobb wouldn’t have to resort to digging into someone’s subconcious mind if only it was arranged for his children to visit Micheal Caine (grandpa) in Paris.

  • http://twitter.com/FettleOfKitsch Sarah

    *Major round of applause*

    I don’t agree with all of the items on this list, but most are a matter of personal intepretation. But the reading of Cat is just erroneous and difficult to explain as anything other than an egregious double standard.

  • http://www.facebook.com/damien.fox.391 Damien Fox

    I actually have never pictured the Inception team as “good guys” the whole movie is kind of a twist on it. There’s no good or evil except for possibly them being better than Cobol Engineering. But it’s a more neutral ground than good vs bad really.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Maricruz-Villalobos-Zamora/100000331523296 Maricruz Villalobos Zamora

    Excuse me! Who said that the Enchantress from The Beauty and the Beast was a “good guy”?

  • http://twitter.com/Kartos Heather

    This was terrible and I couldn’t finish reading it. I wonder if the author understands storytelling?

  • venturesister

    Great list:) I think the Cat Stark category could actually read “Everyone in Game of Thrones”. We all may have our favorite characters, but every character is consumed with selfish tunnel vision and short-sighted power lust to some degree. Something horribly, terribly monstrous is coming. Everyone character has been told about this, and most believe it. Yet they all pursue their own interests and fight each other instead of putting their differences aside and banding together in preparation for Winter. Yes, this is how humanity actually behaves and the parables are excellent. By the end, we will have all become attached to whichever jerk hero we most identify with, only to see them all murdered anyway by the event they didn’t prepare for. (Personally, I enjoy Tyrion. I always enjoy the witty hero/heroine.)

  • http://twitter.com/Laaaaara Lara Magyar

    I actually really like this twist on the age old argument of why people think Ariel sucks. Her song talks about why she wants to be where the people are, not how she wants her man. She’s curious about humans and actively experimenting with their culture before Eric ever comes along.

  • Jen Roberts

    Okay, bringing up Chip is a good point. I’d always assumed they meant “until he was 21″ and since it’s been “10 years we’ve been rusting” according to Lumiere, that means Prince Adam was 11 when he was cursed. But Chip is/seems to be a lot younger than 10, so the age-freeze would explain that.

  • Jen Roberts

    I agree with a lot of these, but some of them seem more like personal opinion. I guess technically all of them are, but I was expecting something a bit more like “Sure, A does this and this, but A also did that and that, which kinda outweighs the good there.” Instead, some of them read more like, “I just don’t like A,” which is fine and all, but doesn’t necessarily make them jerks.

    I’d say, for instance, that Mushu from Mulan is a bigger jerk than Ariel, because he’s selfishly focused on his own interests (as he admits later) and doesn’t even know what he’s talking about, so he actively makes things WORSE for Mulan most of the time. Ariel just seemed to me like a teenage girl blinded by puppy love. It makes her character a little less interesting, because that’s most of what there is to her, but it doesn’t really make her a jerk.

  • http://twitter.com/kwanboa Drunken Tsundere

    If you follow Beauty and the Beast carefully, yes, the spell will go permanent on his 21st. In “Be Our Guest”, it’s sung “Ten years we’ve been rusting, needing so much more than dusting.” SHE CURSED HIM WHEN HE WAS ALL OF ELEVEN YEARS OLD. Yeah, that’s disturbing as hell.

  • http://twitter.com/seriouslyyouguy you guys

    Yeah, the A Song of Ice and Fire world isn’t one of good guys and bad guys, it’s a world of humans, with human motivations and human flaws, and humans make mistakes. And boy do the humans in Westeros make mistakes.

  • http://www.facebook.com/geek.furious Geekfurious Tweets

    What Catelyn does clearly leads to some really bad things for a lot of people. So, sure other characters kill off characters we don’t care as much about… but Catelyn makes bad decision after bad decision that ends up with…………..

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Eric-Bazilio/100000132443742 Eric Bazilio

    For once in my life, I didn’t even care about the spoilers. Nice comeback!

  • Alice

    Thank you. Anyway, she was SIXTEEN. Teenagers aren’t so great at predicting how their actions will affect those around them.

  • http://twitter.com/IksarCleric Jhary Kenshura

    I would just like to point out that you completely read Glinda’s statement about bad witches backward. You say that she is asserting that only ugly witches are evil, which is clearly the opposite of what she said. She said only evil witches are ugly. Doing good deeds makes one beautiful, doing evil deeds makes one ugly. Pretty simple to understand, yet somehow you got it entirely backward.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Adrienne-Reynolds/1206258456 Adrienne Reynolds

    I would like to point out that you defend the beast being a jerk because he was a teenager and teenagers can be jerks, but that any number of your targets are specifically characters representing coming of age allegories and attendent behaviors that are jerk like because that’s the point of their whole story and character development. Specifically, Beuller, Ariel and young adult (college age) Xavier. Also while I don’t have any knowledge of Game of Thrones it looks like you hit a sexist trope nerve, but as a life long Bugs Bunny fan I’ve got to,tell you, you’re just wrong. Bugs left you alone and tried to just get you to go away until you messed with his family, his home or tried to kill him. Then and only then did you hit the battle cry of “of course you realize, this means war”. Yosemite, real estate developers, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig all tried to displace or kill him. I’m sorry ma’am you’ve lost me in your interpretation of the Bugs saga as being exclusively about Fudd. Try Jerry. he’s a better fit for your thesis. And the Wicked Witch was set up. Glinda was always making a power play.

  • eclay

    I think the thing that bothers me most about Catelyn is that the narrative clearly expects us to sympathize with her, even though there’s plenty of reason not to.

    Sure, all the characters have their flaws, but Catelyn is consistently portrayed as a tragic heroine, and is never really taken to task for her mistakes, of which there are plenty.

    And nobody ever mentions her hypocrisy. More than once, she reminds Robb that he is no longer just a boy, but a king, and thus does not have the luxury of thinking or acting like someone his age. Had she actually taken her own advice, she would have realized that she isn’t just a mother. She is the mother of a king, and therefore should not have the luxury of thinking or acting like a normal mother.

    At the end of the day, Catelyn is really all about what Catelyn wants. Almost all of her story-affecting actions stem from the desire to keep her children safe, without considering the long-term implications of what she’s doing. If you think about it, she’s really just a more reasonable version of Lysa. Again, this wouldn’t bother me so much if GRRM didn’t go out of his way to cast her in a sympathetic light.

  • ACF

    Am I the only person who, on reading the last entry started picturing Elmer Fudd and Bugs’ in a S&M relationship with Bugs dressed as a dominatrix? I really don’t know if me being the only one would be better or worse than the alternative.

  • http://www.facebook.com/bridggal Bird Galloway

    Remind me to never bother with anything Rebecca Pahle has to say about GOT/ASOIAF ever again. I’ve read more reasonable takes on Catelyn Stark on Reddit.

  • Rebecca Pahle

    No need to get personal.

  • http://www.facebook.com/todd.prooyen Todd Daniel Van Prooyen

    Blood shed would have still happened either way you look at it. She did help escalate tensions but ultimately it was Tywin, Rob, and Jofferey who started the war.

  • Natalie Willoughby

    I have to object about Catelyn. Again. Like always whenever I talk to someone about Game of Thrones. JAMIE LANISTER PUSHED HER SON OUT OF AN EFFING WINDOW. That right there is reason enough to start a war, and to be a complete dick about the whole situation. When all the men around her are shuffling their feet in the dirt, she does something about it. Sure, maybe the choices she made were wrong, but she is above all a mother. If someone did that to my son, you better believe I will go on a damn rampage until it’s made as right as it possibly can be.